


A Shadow Of Myself

by numo_ninja



Category: Langst - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Lance needs love, Langst, M/M, Self Harm, Slow Build, Suicide Attempt, emotional torture, eventual Klance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-03-30 06:43:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13945479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/numo_ninja/pseuds/numo_ninja
Summary: After infiltrating an unexpected Galra base they discover the location of a possibly ancient and indestructible weapon. It’s a race to beat the Galra to the weapon. However When they land on the missing planet they must overcome a series of trials to prove themselves worthy of such a weapon.  When Lance struggles to overcome his trial he starts to doubt everything he's been doing. How does one even begin to fight an invisible enemy especially when it’s yourself?





	1. Why are the Galra everywhere?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan-fiction that I've posted here. I apologize if it comes off as very novice like. Any constructive circumcision is welcomed. I hope you all enjoy this even if it does start off a little slow.

Lances feet pounded against the ground as he rushed through the thick of an alien forest. Sharp thin branches slapped against his body cutting against any open flesh as his eyes scanned the surrounding area. He saw movement to his left and aimed his gun with a quick inhale to steadying his aim and took the shot. There was a slight explosion indicating that he had hit his mark and he was one droid down and way too many to go. His feet continued down the unmarked path that lead to an unknown location which lance couldn’t think about as his body was on autopilot and his brain was focusing on catching any slight movement that was out of place. As his eyes caught more movement he aimed his gun and body steady even through the pounding of his feet on uneven ground, and pushed his finger against the trigger letting out another shot. This one however had missed as a blur of red shot up in front of him. KEITH his brain screamed and his body came to an abrupt stop almost tripping over his own feet. He had almost shot his fellow paladin. Lance mentally scolded himself for the almost fatal mistake towards his teammate. Keith look up at him as he shot a hand out grabbing onto Lances arm and started dragging him along as he made a mad dash to the right.

A droid jumped out in front of keith forcing him to let go of Lances arm. He drew his bayard and slashed the unwanted company in half. Lance had followed suit and kept up with Keith’s faster running pace shooting at any enemies he came across that Keith hadn’t already mulled down. The droids came in fast repetition that it barely gave lance any time to think about where he should be aiming to get the best shot. Thankfully he was the teams “sharp shooter.” A small Smile formed on his face at the thought, until he remembered that only Shiro had called him that once. Every since that day nobody had even mentioned it again. Lance had desperately been trying to find something to call his own and if it wasn’t his shooting ability then what else did he have? He knew he wasn’t anything special. How he fell short when compared to shiro and keith in combat. He couldn’t even compare himself to Hunk with his insane brains when it came to the kitchen and engineering. Pidge was just a flat out genius and he wasn’t the brightest kid of his age. He vigorously shook his head banishing the thoughts away for another time. He needed to focus on what was going on in front of him. As they came to the edge of the forest they ran into the other three paladins who came out of the forest a little ways away. Lance gave a thankful smile upon seeing them and a small sigh. He thanked whichever deity of this plant was that his friends were safe and for the most part looking unharmed. All five paladins made a quick retreat to the castle taking out any enemies that got in their way. 

As the castle came into view their pace quickened. Lance was constantly checking their backs to make sure there wasn’t any droids following. As he started to turn back facing the castle his foot caught on the uneven ground. His body jerked forward as he lost his footing. He flung his arms out in front of him expecting them to meet with the hard rocky ground. There was a hard yank on his upper arm as he was dragged forward only slowing slightly. His snapped to his arm where a black gloved hand was still tightly holding on to him. Keith, why did it always have to be Keith saving his sorry ass. He was thankful the red paladin had his back but it was starting to become a regular thing where he was always throwing him around like he was more of a burden on the battlefield then he was of any help. They stop just outside the castle entrance. Lance was looking at Shiro waiting for instructions on weather or not they should head towards their lions. 

“Shiro, if we don’t attack now the Galrens will continue to destroy this planet! We have to make our move now!” Keith raised his voice with a stressed out sound etching itself into the words.

“Keith, I understand that we need to free this planet but we need to think rationally about this. We can't blindly attack them without knowing why they’re here and what they are after. We need more information before we make our move. I’m not saying we’re abandoning the planet and its residence but we need to make sure there are the least amount of casualties in our efforts to save them.” Shiro stated with the best commander voice he could muster.

“Shiro is right Keith, but thankfully you have me with you. I’ll have that information in at most a couple of Dobashes maybe a varga.” Pidge pipped in. She took out a an Altean tablet and started typing away on it. 

“Fine, but the sooner we take care of the Galra the sooner we can get what we came for and leave” Keith stated. 

“Keith, we’ll find the herbs that the rebels need to continue to produce their medicine; However It won’t do us any good if we end up dying in the process either. Shiro stated.

“Don’t forget that if one of us doesn’t make it we can’t form Voltron.” Pidge interjected.

“Then I guess it’s a good thing we have the best known sharp shooter in this galaxy on our side. My body is ready” Lance said with a joking tone to lighten the mood.

“Nobody calls you that lance.” Pidge scoffed rolling her eyes at him

“Shiro did that one time when we went and rescued Slav.” Lance quipped back.

“Oh right, that one time Shiro humored you, and what exactly did you do again?” She scoffed back

“I shot Slav out of that hold by that one Galra and didn’t hit him in that tiny space. You were there!” Lance shot back

“Pictures or it didn’t happen” Pidge smirked. Her fingers making quick work on her tiny screen.

“So you got lucky once, honestly if your earlier display of shooting is any indicator of your aiming ability then were doomed” Keith dead paned putting their banter to an end.

“Lance, I think it’s in our best interest to gather as much Intel as we can before we go in guns a blazing” Shiro stated with a slight upturn at the edge of his lips.

Hunk gives his friend a knowing look as he gently laid his hand on lances shoulder. Lance glanced up and smiled at Hunk before looking at Shiro “You got it Space dad.” Lance finger gunned towards him with a smirk.

“Lance focus” Shiro gave a heavy sigh as the rest of the team snickered.

“Finished!” Pidge excitedly exclaimed as she sprung up heading towards the castle. “ I just need to plug this into the main computer to break apart this data thoroughly.” she murmured more to herself as everyone followed in behind her.


	2. Am I Useful?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has something there good at to contribute to the team. Except for Lance that is. How useful can someone like him be when there isn't really anything about him that Says you can count on me?

Coran was already looking at multiple screens tapping away at them as he sped through the Altean words. Allura was looking over Coran’s shoulder pointing out anything she thought might be important and asking questions on things she was unsure of. Shiro heads straight towards them as he gives them a detailed rundown on how their mission had gone.

“As far as I can tell young paladins there is no other life form on this planet besides the Galra.” Coran assured.

“Do we have a location for those herbs yet?” Shiro questioned

“No, I’m sorry we haven’t seen any sign of those herbs.” Coran sighed before continuing on. “I’ve noticed that a lot of the plant life on this planet no longer exist here. I fear the Galra must have extracted them faster than the plants could replenish.” 

“I’m afraid that this planet doesn’t have much longer to go before it breaks apart.” Allura added.

“It’ too late to save the planet from what the Galra have done to it. Their greed knows no bounds.” Coran added

“Then we need to figure out why the Galra are still her on this planet. If what you’re say is true then there’s no point in them still occupying this base” Keith interjected.

“Right you are number 4” Corran straightened his back rocking forward onto the balls of his feet hands behind his back. “There really isn’t a reason that Allura and I could find that would indicate any importance to the Galra. I find it strange that they haven’t abandoned it yet if I’m being completely honest.”

“We could do a stealth mission. Sneak onto their base and see what the Galra are doing on this planet. If what you’re saying is correct then there must be more going on than our scans are telling us.” Pidge chimed in.

“I agree with Pidge. I don’t think they’re just here to keep an eye on this planet. If we know anything about the Galra is that they discard anything that isn’t important to them.” Keith stated, arms folded across his chest, as his fingers tightened around his forearm.

“Pidge is there any way you can get a layout of their base.” Shiro questioned looking over at the small brown haired girl.

“It may take a while but I should be able to hack into their frequency based on past endeavors I’ve had with Galra tech. I also have the information I just gathered that should speed up the process as well. However there are a few issues that may delay the process but nothing I shouldn’t be able to figure out.” She stated resting her chin between her thumb and forefinger.

“Okay, Pidge I want you to get as much information on that base as you can. See if you can find a building layout as well. Allura, Keith, and I will work on a strategy with the information you give us. Hunk maybe you could make the team some food to keep our energy up. Coran I would like you to help him out as well. Make it light as we still might have more battles to fight today. I don’t need anyone getting nauseous while in the middle of a mission.” Shiro Commanded dismissing everyone.

“Hunk my boy I have just the recipe for such an occasion. Although you may not find it to your liking with your unique earth palette and whatnot.” Coran chimed in already heading towards the kitchen.

“Coran you had me at recipe.” Hunk followed close behind him.

Pidge quickly left heading towards her lion’s hanger. Allura walked towards a table and started up a hologram of the planet. Plans already starting to form in her mind. Keith followed after her, body still tense but loosened slightly now that he was actively doing something.

Lance looked around as everyone headed to take care of the tasks Shiro had assigned them. The edges of his lips gave a slight downturn, but only for a fleeting moment before he plastered a huge smile masking any sign of disappointment. “Hey Shiro, I’m guessing you saved the best for last?” Lance quipped. Trying to make light of the fact Shiro had forgotten to assign him anything.

Shiro gave a side glance in lances direction “You could see if the others need your help, maybe you could run errands for them to help their tasks go smoother.” He started before his attention was called over to the conversation the other two were having. Lance was all but forgotten in that moment as Shiro started to insert his own ideas. With a wave of his hand Lance was dismissed.

Lances smile falter again, but he caught it before anyone could notice. Not like anyone was paying him any mind to begin with. Lance just wanted to be useful, to be needed. He knew he wasn’t as smart as Pidge or their best fighter like Keith. Hell he couldn’t even cook like Hunk. Hunk was his best friend for a reason. He balanced lance out. He was everything lance wasn’t. Lance was always striving to be more like Hunk at times. He did his best to understand the projects Hunk and Pidge always seemed to be working on lately. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand what they were doing, but he just didn’t find it as interesting as they did. He could train harder, but he didn’t like training while everyone else was awake. Where his mistakes could be seen. Keith had always monopolized that room anyways and he was NOT going to train with Keith. Lance already knew he had nothing on Shiro. He was their team leader. The guy Lance had looked up to. His hero. Lance turned and left the room as these thoughts threatened to overtake him. The sting of tears threatening to fall. Lance didn’t know what to do because if Shiro didn’t have faith in his ability, if he didn’t even have an individual task to help improve their chances of success, even in the planning periods, then why was he even here. He had the least amount of talent compared to everyone else and he knew it. His feet lead him to where Pidge was working and before entering he took a deep breath and put on that same smile he gave Shiro earlier.

“Hey Pidge anything I can help you with?”

“Lance I highly doubt that you could help me with any of this unless you’re fluent in binary code.” Pidge scoffed. 

Lance’s flinched at that comment but he was used to those moments. He was used to hiding it behind a slight chuckle, a snarky remark, or a turn of the head with a sly flirtatious smile. Lance fell into his usual fail safe “Oh i could read your binary any day Pidge” he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows and finger gunned in her direction.

She groaned at that comment a smile threatening to form on her face. “Lance i appreciate the offer but there really isn’t anything that you could help me with right now” Pidge stated.

“Nothing at all? Not even having you boss me around to run your errands for you. I mean you always seem to enjoy that.” He enquired.

“Look Lance, I really need to focus on this if I’m going to get any of this finished in time for Shiro.” She snapped. Her voice harsher then she intended but ultimately ending the conversation, eyes glued to the computer screen.

Lance caved in on himself at that. Not that Pidge had taken any notice. He wasn’t just useless, he was a burden. Pidge had basically just told him that he wouldn’t help speed up the process. In fact it was like she was saying he would only slow her down. He was less than a lap dog to the team. He quickly turned his body as he made to leave the room. “Pidge if you do end up needing anything just let me know okay” Lance said loud enough for her to hear. They made no indication that they had heard him. With that Lance left the room. He debated on heading towards the kitchen but decided it would be best to stay away. It wasn’t that he was bad at cooking, he was actually a pretty good cook when he had to make meals on the nights his parents came home late. He just couldn’t get himself to understand the alien food like Hunk could. How to make it taste more like home. He wasn’t a cooking genius. He never would be and he was perfectly fine with that. He also knew he would probably be stuck on dish duty and he HATED dish duty. It was one of his primary chores at home since he was the youngest. He couldn’t stand the way the food felt soaked in water. He always asked his mom to at least get gloves but she never seemed to humor that idea. Said there was no point in wasting money on luxury items. He let out a heavy sigh before looking up to see his trusty lion blue. He quipped up an eyebrow before giving his signature smile. “Hello beautiful” he whispered and went to rest his head upon her giant paw. “I am useful right?” he questioned more to himself.

Blue sent out comforting waves to Lance knowing that he had a hard time seeing all the good in him. He was her paladin, he was like her child. She loved him unconditionally, faults and all. Lance could feel her love radiation through their connection. Whenever he was lost in thought his feet always took him here. It was the one place he could honestly feel happy. Blue gave him the reassurance he needed, because she didn’t judge him based on what was only on the surface. 

“Thanks blue.” Lance gave a soft smile raising his head to look up at her. “At least someone believes in me.” He quickly looked back down clenching his fist forcing down the darkness that was engulfing his heart. He bit back the tears that threatened to fall and after a passing moment his head tilted up towards the ceiling, eyes closed, and he let out a heavy breath. He patted her metal paw and walked away moving his hands to slide his hands into the pockets of his jacket before he remember he was still in his battle armor. “It’s about time I met up with the others.” He made his way towards the kitchen were there meeting place was set to be.

Lance was the last one to enter into the room as everyone stared. A smile splayed across his face “Aw were you all waiting on little old me, you shouldn’t have”

“Yes, well shall we get started than” Allura responded motioning with her hand for Lance to take a seat. Ignoring his wisecrack.

Lances shoulders lowered in the slightest as he complied. Taking the nearest opened spot he could find. Which of course happens to be right next to Keith. Lance internally groaned at the irony. The last open seat just had to next to the one person who seemed to hate him the most. He knew Keith was justified in his anger towards him. Lance was the one who started it with his competitive nature, which set the base for their relationship. Lance took notice of Keith as he moved his chair slightly away from him and he felt his heart drop like lead.

Shiro Stood next to Allura arms crossed against his chest. “We have a working plan. It’s not much, but it’s something.” He started. “Allura and I decided it would be best if Pidge and I went to scope out their base. We don’t know what they’re doing here or what they’re after. We need more Intel before proceeding forward.”

“They have extra security on their base that is preventing me from accessing it remotely. I’ll need to plug into the motherboard to get any useful information.” Pidge explained to the other paladins.

“Pidge how soon can you be ready to depart?” Allura questioned

“I’ve prepared everything needed for an Intel scan on their base.

“You three.” Allura motioned to Hunk, Keith and Lance. “Will stay behind in your lions. We need to be ready for a quick departure if something doesn’t go to plan. Which it seems to always do.”

“Any questions before we start the mission?” Shiro questioned.

Nobody spoke as they all moved. Making their way to their assigned spots. Lance sat for a few ticks longer than everyone else before pushing himself off the couch and heading back to blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading A Shadow of Myself. I know not a whole lot happened in this chapter but next chapter should pick up more. Also Langst will get worse as chapters continue on. Let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcomed. If you notice any mistakes please let me know as I'm proof reading all this myself and I may have missed somethings.


	3. Pidge I Think You Might Be Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lance you really know how to be a Debbie downer.” Pidge scowled at him playfully.
> 
> “Who is this Debbie and what is a downer? Is that an underground civilization on your planet?” Allura questioned confusion splayed across her face.
> 
> Everyone except Lance gave a slight chuckle at this. Shiro smiling softly towards her. “No it’s just an earth saying. It’s used when someone says something to bring the mood down”

Half a varga had passed as he sat waiting for any update from Pidge and Shiro. Last he heard they were just entering the base and he was getting a little anxious with having to wait for indication that everything went well… or not so well. He let out heavy sigh. “I can’t think like that they’ll be fine. This is pretty routine for those two nothing will go wrong” He tried reassuring himself. “But what if it doesn’t. What if Pidges information was fabricated. A trap by the Galra. They had to of know that Voltron was here with all the commotion they made earlier that day. If that was the case then what if the Galra already knew of their plans.What if it was a trap. What if they were already captured by the enemy locked away in cells until they could be transferred somewhere else. What if they were used to lure the rest out to save them. What if they were being tortured at this very moment while he sat on his lazy ass in the comfort of his lion.” His thoughts kept spiraling down and down. Images of his friends being filleted like fish or water-boarded flooded through his head.Their screams echoing through his mind. Bodies broken and bloodied their eyes lifeless and dead. The images and thoughts kept coming one after the other. His breathing started to quicken as his chest tightened. Before he could really register what was happening to him Blue blanketed his mind with hers. He could feel his body resonate with her purrs. His breathing steady and his mind settled everything washing away like a tide returning to sea. He new just like the sea all of it would come crashing down on him once again. He realized he had been on the brink of a panic attack before Blue intervened. He closed his eyes as he took in one big shaky breath, letting Blue completely engulf his being. She was his rock in all of this and she could always bring him back.

“Allura we need you to ready the ship NOW!” Pidge's voice cut through the silence.

“On it! Ready to depart upon your arrival”

“Stay in position paladins” Shiro Commanded the three boys sitting in their lions.

“We’re on board. Leave NOW!” Pidge shouted.

Lance felt the castle lift off the ground starting its assent into the sky. A few ticks later there was the sound of an explosion. The castle had been shaken by the sudden difference in air pressure but nothing to major to throw them off course to a crash landing. “Everyone meet on the bridge ASAP” Shiro spoke into the coms his breath heavy.

Lance released his grip on blue as he was ready for an actual battle to ensue. He patted blues console before standing up. “Thanks blue, for everything” He smiled at her before bounding out of the cockpit and out of the hanger heading towards the bridge. For once Lance wasn’t the last person to enter the room. That was left for Keith. Except unlike Lance, Keith was welcomed with warm smiles and was that understanding on their faces. Lance wanted to bite back, attack Keith with harsh words like they did to him when he was late, but he hated the way it made him feel and couldn’t bring himself to make any of them feel the same way. So he did the next best thing looked at the ground like it was the most interesting thing in the solar system.

“Well I’d say that was a blast” Pidge started hold back her laughter.

“What did you two do down there?” Keith looked between the two brows furrowed.

“Uh, well we made it to our destination just fine to be honest. It was mostly just centuries down there and we were able to get them off line pretty quickly thanks to Pidge...” Shiro started

“And everything was going wonderfully I was able to download all the data we needed. I may have stumbled upon the Galra equivalent of a self destruct button. I’m guessing it was a fail safe in-case someone did break in but of course it was basic and I was easily able to work my way around it and at the end i thought well what the hey their evil why not just blow it up, so I did.” Pidge finished. She wore the proudest smile he’d ever seen her make and at this point Lance was positive she might be psychotic.

“Yeah that.” Shiro looked at her disapprovingly. “Next time a little warning would be nice.”

“You mean I get to do it again” Excitement creeping up her face.

“Uh guys as fun as that sounds and don’t get me wrong that does sound fun but how about we avoid things of mass destruction. We don’t know how that could have reacted with the planet's atmosphere what if it turned the entire planet into on giant bomb.” Hunk looked unamused.

“The planet Bramus was like that. Their air was made up of busintac. Which was tiny particles found in the air but hidden to the eye. It was highly explosive when high enough temperatures were present. However the explosions usually were never anything overly destructive sometimes it created a fun light show. ” Coran chimed in

“How hot was the planet?” Hunk asked intrigued and terrified that a planet like that actually existed.

“It wasn’t to be honest it was an ice planet so explosions weren’t really a concern unless you know storms happened which due to the friction of the atoms sometimes set them off leading to a chain reactions of tiny explosions.” Coran continued getting lost in a memory of the planet.

“How the heck did they learn to live around their planet exploding spontaneously?” Lance murmured to himself.

Coran was just about to go into a very long and scientific explanation on Bramus and the effects of its atmosphere when Pidge interjected.“Well the important thing is that I was able to get all the data we needed from that place.Now I just need to decipher it.” Her eyes gleamed with excitement.

“Pidge we are counting on you. Please let me know of anything you find right away. “ Allura smiled at her.

“You were amazing out there today Pidge but please no more explosions without permission” Shiro gave her a soft smile while fluffing her hair.

“Is nobody else a little off put by just how easy this seemed to go? “ Lance interjected. “I mean Pidge just happened to come across an exploding base. There was no Galra to be found only their centurion robots. We came out with no injuries. Hell we didn’t even need our lions this time.”

“Lance you really know how to be a Debbie downer.” Pidge scowled at him playfully.

“Who is this Debbie and what is a downer? Is that an underground civilization on your planet?” Allura questioned confusion splayed across her face.

Everyone except Lance gave a slight chuckle at this. Shiro smiling softly towards her. “No it’s just an earth saying. It’s used when someone says something to bring the mood down”

“Maybe it just seemed easier because we’ve done missions like this a bunch of times now and know what to look for?” Hunk tried his best to comfort his friend. To let him know that his concerns were heard by someone and hoping it reached him. Lance gave Hunk a small smile acknowledging his attempt at comfort.

“Pidge why don’t you get working on decrypting that intell for us. Everyone else is free to go. Get some rest everyone.” Shiro dismissed them ending the debriefing.

“Hunk wanna keep me company and help out?” Pidge bounded towards him.

Hunk gave a side glance towards Lance trying to see if he needed one on one time with him. Lance gave him a soft smiled and shook his head. Hunk turned towards Pidge “Of course, I’m always ready to help you. So what kind of program are we gonna use.” Hunk started as they walked out towards her computer station.

Lance slowly made his way back to his room. After today's events he really just wanted to sleep. He was emotionally drained and didn’t know how much longer he could keep up his happy facade. Dark thoughts were slowly making their way to the front of his mind. He was used to this. This happened anytime he was low on sleep or overly stressed. Which being a paladin on Voltron meant he was both of these things all the time. When he reached his room he made his way straight to the bathroom to apply a face mask. This was something his sister forced him to do when she caught on to how he was really feeling. She never forced him to talk but they did have a daily routine to hang out usual in silence. It was something that helped her de-stress and take her mind off of things and she hoped it would have the same effect on Lance. He knew she had his best interest in mind. It’s why he never refused and kept up the routine. It was habit at this point even if everyone made fun of him for it because you know how boys can’t enjoy clean and smooth skin. It just wasn’t manly enough for society. His sister always picked out the scented ones. Ones that were meant to have calming properties on the skin and were supposed to smell absolutely amazing according to her. For the most part it was true. Some of them didn’t always smell so nice but they were relaxing. They could take the edge off and it was always a good band-aid. Clearing his head before he went to tackle his demons head on. Now it only lasted until he washed it off his face. Sometimes it didn’t work at all as the nightmares berated his mind sinking its claws into his consciousness. His body would scream to wake up but the nightmares never let him, not until they were finished with him. If Allura didn’t wake him up early, nightmares usually did. He finished applying the cream, waving his hand to scatter his lingering thoughts before he went and laid down on his bed. His blankets where bundled up next to the wall. A sheet was half on his bed half draped off onto the floor. The fitted sheet slowly coming off as a corner of the mattress peeked out. “I should change my sheets and make my bed sometime.” He thought to himself as he set a timer and drifted into a half conscious state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be uploading a second chapter today. One because this seemed like a good place to cut off. Second is because the next chapter should start to get things moving to were Langst will be playing a bigger part in the chapters as well. I'm also super impatient when I get excited about things and I've been excited to continue to update this story. 
> 
> Thank you everyone for the messages and kudos and giving this story a shot. If there's any suggestions or things I can improve on please let me know. I'm always good with constructive criticism.


	4. Deep Thoughts and Bonding Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey Lance you in there.” Keith's voice cut through him. 
> 
> He stared at his door in confusion before answering. “Uh, Yeah, doors open enter at your own risk.”
> 
> Lance watched as the door open and Keith was looking around his newly clean room before his eyes landed on him and he raised an eyebrow. “Uh, you okay?”
> 
> “Ah are you worried about little oh me?” Lance smirked at him.

It felt like only a few ticks had passed when he could hear the high pitched screech of his alarm going off. He let out a heavy sigh before moving to silence it. He rolled out of bed and headed back to the sink to rinse off the mask. After a few dobashes of splashing water on his face, certain the face mask was all off, he patted his face dry with a towel. Lance looked around his room at the clothes scattered across the floor. He brought his hand up rubbing the back of his neck before his eyes landed on his desk. It was littered with forgotten paper and drawings from late nights. To dying plants he had collected and forgotten. He grabbed the hamper sitting next to his door and started to gather all the dirty cloths first. Once he had everything picked up off of the floor he moved to the desk. He started to straighten and organize the papers that was piled on top of it. He had pictures on one side and his writings on the other. Once he had them all straightened and organized he filed them away into their respective drawer. He gathered as many of the potted plants as he could before leaving his room to find a proper disposal area.  When he found a garbage shoot he disposed of the plants before heading back to his room. Just because he was a mess didn’t mean his room had to be. Lance flopped down onto his bed with nothing else to keep him busy. “Well Lance you’ve cleaned your room up that’s an accomplishment. Now if only you could dedicate that kind of energy to training.” He frowned at himself. “Training doesn’t mean I’ll be any better then I am today. Even if i did go to train Keith would be there and then I’d have to deal with that shame. I mean i’m not even worthy enough to be considered his rival. Heck Pidge is even better at combat then I am and shes the local tech genius. They’re not supposed to be exceptional at combat as well. Lance crossed his arms against his chest a frown forming on his face as his eyes closed in frustration. “No Lance let's not think that. You have things you’re good at to. Now let's think about those. You’re good at drawing. Well that's not really war worthy of a skill but it's something. You can lighten a mood. You were declared the comic relief of the group.” he flinched slightly at the thought the comment still stung till this day. Even after he proved he was a good shot Pidge still only saw his role or “thing” as she put it as being Voltrons very own goof ball and nothing more. “They at least find you funny. They also find you worthless. They’re my friends and it was their way of trying to lighten the mood. Are they my friends? What if they’re only nice to me because blue chose me to pilot her and not because they actually want to be friends with me. I mean they were forced to hang out with me and I am only one person out of like seven. Well the mice get along with everyone as well even if they aren’t human.” Lance removed his arms from his chest as he went to rub the heel of his hands into his eyes. He could feel the tears start to form. He pushed harder trying to prevent them from falling. He let out a frustrated sigh just in time for there to be a loud knock on his door. He let his arms fall to the bed at the noise and waited a few ticks. He really didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. He was in one of those moods where just looking at other people was a chore. Another knock an even heavier sigh.

“Hey Lance you in there.” Keith's voice cut through him. 

He stared at his door in confusion before answering. “Uh, Yeah, doors open enter at your own risk.”

Lance watched as the door open and Keith was looking around his newly clean room before his eyes landed on him and he raised an eyebrow. “Uh, you okay?”

“Ah are you worried about little oh me?” Lance smirked at him.

“With that no, no I’m not.”

Way to go Lance taking any chance of a bonding moment with Keith and turning it into tension central. “Sorry, it’s kinda hard wired into me” he mumbled, Keith barely able to make out what he said. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.” Keith respond genuinely curious as to what possibly might have gotten way to happy all the time guy down

“It’s not important. So what brings you all the way to my humble abode.”

“Uh, well, for whatever reason Shiro decided that I was the one who needed to come fetch you.” Keith slid his hands into his pockets and leaned against the door frame. “Pidge deciphered the information from that Galra base. Apparently it was important.” 

Lance sat up on his bed. “And they thought it was a good idea to send you? To fetch me? ‘Cause you know we aren’t at each others throats like everyone minute we see each other” He scoffed

“Take it up with Shiro and Allura. I think they’re trying to force us into a friendship. Well their form of friendship.”

“Wouldn’t that be something. Us being friends.” Lance stood up to follow Keith to their commons area.    
“Aren’t we though? I mean yeah we have a rivalry but that doesn’t mean we aren’t friends” Keith lowered his head as his voice got lower and he started kicking the floor.

Lance just stared at him open mouthed. He was honestly lost for words. His mouth slowly formed into a huge smile “Whatever you say Mullet.”

“Again with that nickname can’t you call me something else please!” Keith groaned. 

“I could if you let me style your hair however I wanted… Whenever I wanted” Lance gave him a mischievous smirk.

Keith gave him a look of surprise “Uh, no?”

“Then i guess you’re stuck with Mullet.” Lance gave him a softer smile as he headed towards the door. “We better get going before they think we’ve killed each other” Lance patted Keith's shoulder as he moved past him, Keith following after him.

keith and Lance entered the commons area and took an open spot on the couch. Again Lance noticed how Keith adjusted himself away from lance. Didn’t they just establish that they were friends? So why did Keith still act like he was plague. “So Pidge? What important information did you discover that needed immediate attention and interrupted my beauty sleep”

“Ha ha Lance, and for your information this is pretty big news like game changing news.” Pidge chided. 

“Like beat Zarkon big?” Lance questioned

“Better, apparently the Galra found some information on a near indestructible weapon. Kinda like Voltron but not? The readings are actually pretty close to Voltron if I’m being completely honest. Anyways, Its located on an unknown planet or at least a planet that hasn’t been found. They had some coordinates but when I looked into those, with the help of Coran and Allura, we didn’t see anything located there. Not sure what the importance of those are but I’m sure we can figure it out. I think this is worth looking into especially if this what the Galra claim it to be. We can’t let them get a hold of it.” Pidge stated

“Do we have any leads to go on to even start looking?” Keith questioned.

“Well, we could go to the coordinates and see if anything comes up on one of our scans but there is no guarantee to us finding anything. It may be a dead end.” Allura added.

“Did it mention exactly what we’re looking for? Like what kind of weapon it is?” Shiro inquired.

“We think that it might be some kind of energy source. Maybe like an atomic bomb. I’m not sure if that’s what it is but from the information they had on it that’s my best guess.” Hunk inserted picking at his fingerless gloves.

“Then we definitely need to find that weapon. At all costs the Galra can not find it first.” Shiro responded arms crossed tight against his chest.

“I’ll set the coordinates. It may take a few quintents since the area where the coordinates indicate is in a… messy part of the universe.” Allura stated “However I will speed up the process in any way I can.

Shiro looked to at the ground for a couple of dobashes before responding. “ Allura I leave the piloting to you.” He smiled at her before looking towards the others. “Everyone else we need to go into team training. Make sure that we are fully ready for any attacks we may come across. We don’t know what kind of Galra they have after this weapon. We’ll start first thing in the morning. I believe today we are all in for a well deserved rest.” Shiro finished ending the meeting before Allura and him headed to the control deck to start the journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so second chapter of the day is up. Things are finally starting to move. I'm excited have things pick up more. Also it wasn't apart of my plan to put any Keith and Lance bonding moments in this soon but it kinda just seemed right. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. And thank you to everyone who has dropped by to read it.


	5. Do I matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t mess this up Lance” Keith shot him a glare.
> 
> “What's that supposed to mean mullet?” Lance shot back
> 
> “You heard me. Out of the two of us if anyone was going to get out first it’d be you.” Keith stated as of matter of fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Lance is kind of a mess in this. I don't think there's anything that might be a tw but it does get a little dark so here's a little warning.

Lance’s chested burned for air as his feet pushed against the ground. Black bony hands grab at him, ripping at his clothes as he tried to outrun them. A hand shot out in front of him wrapping its fingers around his ankle. His body lurched forward throwing his hands out in front of him. He attempted to push off any open ground he could to prevent himself to be swallowed up the sea of fingers. More hands were clinging onto his clothes dragging him further down into the dark abyss. Panic rose in his chest as his breathing quickened. He thrashed about even harder trying to loosen himself from their grip. A tight hand clasped around his throat cutting. Suddenly cold, wet, lips were pressed to his ears as a ghost of a whisper passed through them “Give in, you know you want to. Are you not tired of always fighting us. Just let go, give into me.” It purred.

Lances eyes widened as he choked out a no. His voice struggling against the hand tightly wrapped around it. His body thrashed against the restraints. He didn’t want this. He shuddered as cold dead hands grabbed onto anything thing they could slithering their way around his body like a snake ready to strike at any moment. Their fingers dragged across his skin. He could feel light trickles of blood start to roll down his skin. He was dragged further down into the dark abyss. He attempted to claw his way out. Tried to rip the hands away from him. To get away, to do something to end this torture. Unfortunately his hands were only met with darkness. There seemed to be nothing solid surrounding him. Yet here he was being dragged into his own personal hell with apparently nothing to grab onto.

“You can stop this.” It chided. “Put an end to your suffering Lance.” A shiver made its way up his spine as the wet air brushed against his ear. He bit his lip trying to push back the tears and screams that were building up inside him. He was always stopping them. Always fighting them back. Why did he try so hard to fight against them even in his sleep. “Yes, that’s it, let them fall. Show me how weak you really are.” It cooed. Lance bit back harder trying to slow down the tears and stifle his voice. Fingernails started to dig themself into his flesh. “Nobody really cares about you. Your just a hindrance to their lives. You the poster child for failure. What parents hope their children never turn out to be. You are what’s wrong with humanity.” Laughter erupted all around him. Tears finally falling from his face. He swung his fist towards as best he could towards the voice but was only met with cold air and restrained arms. The grip around his throat tightened cutting off any air that was able to still pass through. “You are weak Lance.” It spewed. “You will never be more than a shadow to the world. You were never meant for greatness. You will never be great. Give in to me. I just let go. You can not hide from me. I am always with you. I am your salvation all you have to do is let go. Come let us end this together” Lance’s vision become spotty his strength leaving him. His brain was muddled from the lack of oxygen and in that moment letting go didn’t seem so bad. “That’s it.” The voice urged him on. “Come to me. Come to where you are welcomed. This is where you belong.” His eyes slowly closed. “Come home to me.” Lances eyes snapped open at that. Home. He wanted to go home but this wasn’t home. Home was where his family was. Home was his mom’s home baked cookies and family dinners. Home was with his fellow paladins. Home was where the heart is and his heart didn’t belong here. The voice screeched in anger as his grip tightened around him again. He was choking. Lance clawed at his neck in a sad attempt to stop this creature only to be met with failure. He felt like his neck was gonna snap. Nails dug deeper into his skin as they clawed downward. He could feel his body falling straight into the darkness never to escape. 

His  body made contact with a very solid surface. As he come to into consciousness color exploded into his vision with a new kind of pain. He could hear screaming. His screaming. He felt so detached from his own voice that he almost forgot how to stop it. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he couldn’t tell if it was from the pain he felt or from the dream. He hastily fumbled around his room till he found his bed and shoved his face into his pillow. He couldn’t wake the others up just because he had a nightmare. He wasn’t a kid anymore. He shouldn’t be the effect just from a mere dream. He caved in on himself as the the ghost of hands still clung to him. His body shuddered in response as more tears fell onto his pillow. He was pathetic. He was no paladin of Voltron because none of the others would be this pathetic. His hands dug into his sheets as he pushed down all the pain he was feeling. He had to compose himself. He should just get over it. This wasn’t anything important. This was just a feeling and feelings changed he reminded himself. He pushed them down even further steeling himself against them. His body stopped shaking and his screams were cut short. He glided a hand towards where his phone was located. He ran his other hand over his face wiping away any trace of the tears that had fallen. When his other hand had located the phone he turned on the screen half blinding himself as a surge of relief fell onto him and he slightly relaxed into the edge of his bed. “Well I can kiss that full night's rest good bye” Lance mumbled to himself as he slid his left hand over his face and through his short chocolate brown hair. Hand tightening against the gathered locks and slight tug against his scalp. After a brief moment he pushed himself up to stand and turning on the light switch careful not to bump into anything. He looked down at his clock reading the time. “You have got to be shitting me” Lance let out a frustrated groan. It was only two in the morning and he had only been asleep for maybe three hours. Lance couldn’t bring himself to attempt at sleep again. When he had nightmares like this they always come back with a vengeance. As if it was insulted he had ripped himself away from them. Lance realized that he his clothes were drenched in sweat. He decided he was in need a very hot shower. Hopefully it would get rid of the sinking feeling that threatened to consume him.

Lance was still focused on what his mind had just went through. He could still vividly feel arms around him threatening to choke him to death. He slowly made his way over to his desk and pulled out a blank sheet of paper and the alien equivalent to a pencil.  This always seemed to calm him down enough. To let his mind focus on it long enough to move on. Lance moved the pencil across the paper interchanging between smooth and rough lines. Shading where needed until a picture had been formed. When he finished he looked down at his clock again. He still had 3 hours to burn before the training was supposed to start. His body was exhausted but his mind was still reeling after the dream. He stood and stretched is long limbs fingers interlocked between each other as he raised his hands above his head as far as they would go before letting them drop. He decided he could waste some time on getting breakfast. 

Lance made himself a bowl of good old food goo. He picked his regular spot at the now empty table and proceeded to play with the goo before taking the first bite. His head was propped up on his hand, elbow resting on the table. 

“You know that’s bad food etiquette” Shiro’s voice cut through the silence.

Lane turned his head slightly looking up towards Shiro “Are you a ninja?” 

“Lance it’s way to early in the morning for that” Shiro groaned.

“What I was just saying that you’re quieter than the mice and they make like no noise at all.” 

Shiro gave a soft chuckle at that. “Should i be offended?” He replied as he grabbed his own plate of food goo and sat down. 

“I’ll leave that up to you space dad” 

“Again with the space dad. You know I’m only twenty-five right?” He smiled at the teen. 

“Yes but you have the soul of an old man” Lance retorted pointing his spoon at Shiro.

“Old as I may be, I can still destroy you in combat.”

“In close range definitely, in long range we have yet to see.” Lance smiled up at him.  
There was a long pause before Shiro spoke again “So what has you up at this hour?”

“Hmm, couldn’t sleep.” Lance looked only at his goo as he poked around in it.

“Lance McClain they kid we can never get out of bed couldn’t sleep” Shiro raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Yeah, I mean I did sleep. I just couldn’t stay asleep?” He raised his voice ending it as a question. 

“Okay? Do you wanna talk about it?”

Lance finally met Shiro’s eyes as confusion morphed his face “About what?”

“About whatever has you up this early in the morning keeping you from your few extra hours of beauty sleep.” He stated.

Lance let out a light laugh. “Shiro it’s nothing like that honest. I guess all that sleeping I do finally caught up to me.” 

Shiro wasn’t so easily convinced as he squinted his eyes at the young boy trying to get a read on him. “ Are you sure?”

“Positive boss man. If it was something that I felt was important, I would tell you, promise.” 

Shiro gave up in defeat as he slumped back into his chair. “My door is always open if you need to talk Lance.”

Lance was about to respond before a wild Keith entered the dining area. A half awake Hunk following soon after with Pidge right behind. She was clinging to the big guys yellow Altain pajamas eyes still closed as she half walked, half dragged behind him like she was still in zombie mode. Allura and Coran filed in shortly after looking more awake then any of the humans that sat before them.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alright so here are the rules for this bonding exercise. We’ll be split into teams of two. The sparring bot is the enemy. Who ever defeats the bot wins the round. Each team must survive till the end in order to end the round. This means if one of you gets out then you are both out. This is team building remember that.” Shiro finished explaining before splitting them up into teams. “I’ll sit out on the first round since I also want to see how far you guys have come along in your combat skills. Pidge and Hunk you’ll be team one. Keith and Lance you’ll be the team two. Alright everyone get into positions.” Shiro finished with a clap of his hands dismissing them. 

“Don’t mess this up Lance” Keith shot him a glare.

“What's that supposed to mean mullet?” Lance shot back

“You heard me. Out of the two of us if anyone was going to get out first it’d be you.” Keith stated as of matter of fact. 

Lance half assessed attempt to glare back at Keith but at this point his mind caught up with his body on the sleep deprived matter and his body was getting even more reluctant to listen to him. He couldn’t focus on much for more then maybe a couple of dobashes. “Whatever you say Mullet.” Lance walked to a spot behind Keith like they had discussed. His bayard took on the familiar form of his gun as. Keith was already prepared for any attack that may come. His legs were bent and his arms were held up. His bayard was already in his right hand as it took shape the familiar sword. Pidge and hunk were on the other side of the training room. Pidge was crouched low and hunk stood slightly in front of her ready to defend if needed. Everyone was in their positions that best fit their team dynamic. 

“Ready, Begin!” Shiro boomed as a training bot formed in front of them. Lance readied his gun waiting for the right moment to strike while Keith made the first move. Keith's body was quick like lightning as he rushed towards the mechanical being. His arm was pulled back ready to swing when an opening presented itself for him. The bot moved effortlessly dodging Keith's sword as he brought down a metal fist. He almost got Keith if it wasn’t for Pidge shooting her angular katar. Which was now headed straight at Lance. His eyes widened as he leaped and rolled out of the way. 

“Pidge that almost hit me!” Lance practically screeched. 

“Well pay attention then. I can’t keep tabs on you all the time” She shot back. 

Lance aimed his gun again ready to pull the trigger before a wild Keith jump into his line of sight. Lance continued to keep his eye on the bot ready for an opening that didn’t have one of his team members jumping out in front of him. Between Pidge and Keith he really didn’t have any openings to use his bayard. If he attempted to do close combat with the bot he risked interfering with the other two paladins. His vision went a little blurry as he tried to keep his focus. He didn’t have time to be tired. If this were a real fight he’d be screwed if not dead already. He refocused his mind to the task at hand. He only need a couple of ticks to make a clear shot. If only Keith had tried to get him an opening and then stayed out of the way. Lance let out a slow breath as he steadied himself. Wait for it. Just a tick. Now! He pulled his triggered and let out a shot. The bot moved a split second to soon with a Pidge waiting on the other side. Lances heart dropped to his stomach “PIDGE!” Lance screamed. Pidge was suddenly on the ground a few feet away slowly up righting herself with a quite groan as Keith hovered over her. 

Keith's head snapped in Lances direction. “Lance what the hell was that!you could have killed her!” Keith screamed. 

“Pidge I am so sorry.” Lance bolted towards her. “I swear I didn’t mean to. I saw an opening and I took it. I didn’t see you behind it.” 

“Lance you need to be at your best when we’re in battle. Including a fake battle. The enemy won’t be as forgiving as a training bot is. You should be able to take in your surroundings while also looking for the best shot. If Keith didn’t act upon his quick thinking Pidge wouldn’t be just a little scuffed up. If it was another ally that had been in the way they could have died by your hand. You can’t blame an enemy dodging your attacks.” Shiro interjected “This is why we train mistakes happen just don’t make the same mistakes twice. Learn from this. I have faith in you Lance.”

“Got it.” Lance squared his shoulders as he headed back to his start position.

After a couple of varga Shiro had dismissed Lance from training only after he made an even bigger error in his shots. In the training he had dodged more than he actually took any shots. His body was hurting all over as new bruises were likely to form. Lance was making his way to the control room where Allura was currently directing the ship to their next destination. His mind kept reeling over how his training had gone. He knew he had been getting progressively worse throughout the training. The Lack of sleep didn’t help with his mind getting muddled and his body slowing down. Each mistake made it harder for Lance to even want to continue. He was the only one lagging behind. It was like he was at a standstill with himself. He wasn’t even sure how he was supposed to take that step forward. He didn’t know how to get better. He wanted to ask someone. He tried asking Hunk once since he was the only other team member that had a gun for his bayard. Heck Hunk was even his best friend. He felt comfortable sharing his insecurities on his skills with him. Except Hunk was in the same boat as him which didn’t leave much for experience and tips. He even tried asking Pidge once. Only she was being very difficult about it. She wanted to use technical terms and science her way through it. Which Lance did try but he couldn’t grasp half of what she was saying. He didn’t dare ask Keith  for fear that he might actually bit his head off. Keith would probably says something along the line of “If you practiced more you wouldn’t need advice. Your not a kid figure it out for yourself.” Lance had thought about asking Shiro once but he could barely start a conversation with him on his own. Much less one that was centered around all of his insecurities in his fighting abilities. He couldn’t bring himself to show his team just how weak he really was. Especially when he’d never shot a gun before until he was with Voltron. As he was lost in thought he had collided with very solid object. He brought his hand up to his forehead as he looked towards the cause of his abrupt stop. He noticed the always overly happy Coran holding way to many boxes to be deemed acceptable. It took lance only a moment before he offered his help to Coran. 

“Why Lance its fancy meeting you here. I would love some help. I’m having the darnedest time seeing with all these boxes” His voice held a light happy tone to it. 

Lance grabbed the top few boxes and motioned for Coran to lead the way. Coran headed down the corridor till they the hall split off into three other directs. He took the right without a second thought knowing exactly where he was going. “Uh, hey Coran”

“Hmm, Yes Lance?” 

Lance paused not sure on exactly what he wanted to say. Was he even ready to ask someone on this? About his insecurities on being a paladin. On his self worth to the team.  Did he matter? Could he matter? Did someone find his existence important or was he just a screw up to everyone. Was he only ever meant to be the biggest joke in the room. The only reason why he was always throwing out jokes most of the time was because if he didn’t say it first someone else would. He wanted them to see something worthy of befriending before they noticed that he was just damaged goods. Even his flirty was the only way some people would even take notice of him. Even if it was just laughing at his expense. He wasn’t even worthy to be a spec of dirt on someones carpet floor. He thought of his family back on earth. They meant the world to him, but he doubted that he meant the world to them. He was probably just the annoying younger brother that could never amount to much of anything. The son who was always a failure. Always second best. Someone who was stuck in the shadow because he could never be great unless he road on the coattails of someone else. His problems didn’t matter because he didn’t matter. If he died in combat would anyone care. If he didn’t wake up tomorrow would anyone notice. His presence was so little that if he didn’t make any noise nobody would notice him. If he left the team how soon would they notice he wasn’t there anymore. If he listened to them and stayed quite would they notice anything was wrong. Lance vigorously shook his head trying to expel those thoughts from his head. Pushing them down into a locked sector of his mind. 

“Lance, My boy are you doing ok?” Coran asked concern dripping through his voice.

Lance plastered on his signature smile throwing in an upbeat tone “Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be”  

“ Ah, here we are.” Coran chirped as they entered into the empty closet. 

Lance put his boxes down onto the empty shelves as he politely excused himself before Coran had the opportunity to berate him with more questions.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a beast. I enjoyed writing this and as I kept reading through it more things came to mind that Lance might have been feeling in that moment. I apologize for any mistakes there might be. If there is anything i could improve on please let me know I'm always looking to get better in my writing. Let me know what you thought of this chapter. I'll have another update on Sunday. Till next time :)


	6. Uncharted Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is basically a chapter full of talking and discoveries.

“I don’t see anything” Pidge stated.

“Looks like those numbers really weren’t coordinates.” Hunk voiced slightly disappointed.

“Is there really nothing here” Keith raised an eyebrow in question.

“Can you see anything” Pidge snapped.

“Well no, but does that mean that nothing could be here?” Keith shot back

““Do you think it’s possible for an entire planet to be hidden from our sight?” Pidge rested her chin between her forefinger and thumb. “ I mean it might be possible but it would take a lot of energy and technology that I’ve never come across.”

“So it could be possible. It just might be unlikely. Is there any way we could locate it?” Hunk looked at Pidge. Ideas already running through their minds.

“Lance will you please stop moving!” Keith snapped.

Lance looked up to the raven haired boy as his brows furrowed. “Can none of you see that?”

“See what? Space? ‘Cause that’s the only thing out there Lance” Pidge sarcastically shot back.

Lance gave a loud exaggerated gasp. “What! You mean we’re in space? I hadn’t noticed.” Lance quipped back. “And no, that’s not what i meant.” Lance started to move to the other side of the room eyes fixated on a single spot. He raised himself to be standing on his tippy toes and then crouching down to get at every angle. “You guys honestly can’t be telling me that you haven’t spotted that.”

Coran started to mimic Lance before his eyebrows shot up and huge grin crossed his face. “Lance, my boy, how did you notice that.”

Lance scratched the back of his head “I don’t know. It just looked off to me so I started to check as to why. I mean it’s just slightly off and could be easily missed but I’m positive there’s something there.”

“Are you sure?” Shiro questioned as he followed Coran’s example missing whatever he and Lance had noticed.

“It’s like there's something in front distorting the view but if you don’t catch it right you’d never notice the disturbance to its surroundings. Like you know when in TV shows where someone is invisible but you can still make out where they are because of how the image forms around their body? It’s like that but less noticeable.” Lance tried to explain. “Although on T.V. shows it’s just for the audience to be able to keep track of the character and its movement ‘cause you know a blank screen isn’t any fun to look at.” Lance started to ramble.

“Lance you’re rambling again” Keith cut him off.

“So there’s a giant plant that has cloaking abilities?” Hunk joined in.

“Is that even possible?” Shiro looked towards Coran.

“My grandfather had heard of a planet like that back in his younger days. Although when he went to investigate it he came up empty. Seemed like nobody knew where the planet was located.”

“Gosh who would have figured he’d have a hard time finding the coordinates to an invisible planet.” Pidge huffed back into her seat still not convinced.

Allura ignored Pidge’s comment while looking towards the older Altean. “Coran did your grandfather happen to keep any records on the planet. Anything that may help us enter?”  
“I’m afraid not princess. I tried asking him about it once but he seemed a little on the reluctant side and deterred away from the topic when questioned.”

“We could just fly the castle through.” Lance interjected.

“Are you insane! You want us to fly the castle into a possible planet that we can’t even see? Who knows what’s waiting for us on the other side.” Pidge practically screeched.

“Lance I’m sorry but I’m with Pidge on this one.” Hunk chimed in picking at stray stings on his gloves.

“I don’t think taking our only means of transportation and throwing it into a possible destructive force is a good idea” Shiro stated.

“We could take something like the ship and throw it at it. If anything happens to it we’ll know its not safe and move on. If nothing happens then we know it’s fine and continue on our way.” Lance threw out the idea.

“Lance that is actually quite intelligent. I think we should start with that. It is better than nothing and will give us an answer to this dilemma.” Allura agreed. “Coran is there anything we could use for this?” Allura questioned.

“Actually i might have something” Pidge cut in.

Pidge dashed out of the room and as quickly as she had left she was already running back onto the deck. She maneuvered all the material’s she was carrying in an attempt not to drop anything. She went to the group as she set everything on the ground starting to piece it all together. She had a decently sized drone made out of material very similar to the Altean castle. A controller for said drone, a camera that she placed on top of it after attaching a sticky substance. “Alright this should work” She beamed at the droid. “This should give us video feed to my computer along with the ability to control it while it’s in space. If anything bad happens to it we’ll know and can go from there. If it makes it passed the barrier then we can also see what’s on the other side. This way, no surprises.”

Pidge lead the way to the nearest airlock with Coran following shortly after her. The rest of the team stayed behind to keep an eye out for little droid when it was out of eye sight from the airlock hanger. Pidge placed her little drone in the center of the floor before jogging out as Coran closed the door on their end before ejecting the mechanical aircraft into space. Hunk was directing the drone towards the seemingly empty space with Lance to help direct him. Pidge had bounded into the room with Coran shortly behind her.

“I hope this works” Hunk whined.

“It should if my calculations are correct and Lances gut feeling isn’t wrong”. Pidge stated with excitement.

“I hope I’m correct.” Lance gave Pidge a side glance before looking back at where the drone was. “You’re almost there buddy.”

With that being said in a few ticks the droid had disappeared. Pidge dashed to her computer as she whipped open the screen pulling up the video feed. “This is insane” Pidge answered in awe.

“Pidge what's happening with the droid” Shiro responded

The team already making their way over to where Pidge was seated looking at the video feed. “What happened here” Hunk’s eyes widened.

“Not sure? Hunk can you maneuver the droid around the debris so we can get a better look at the planet?

Hunk complied to Shiro’s request as he directed the droid around the little chunks of planet floating around it. “Guys what if a giant monster is waiting for us there.” Hunk stressed.

“Hunk do you think if it was some sort of monster it would have left the planet still standing like it is?” Lance responded trying to calm his friend down.

“You never know Lane, What if it’s waiting for unexpected life forms to land as it swallows them up. What if the planet is the monster. I mean there’s the balmara that’s a living planet who’s to say there isn’t more living planets except evil.” Hunk shuddered at the thought

“Well if it was a living being it’d be dead” Keith interjected pointing his finger at the screen. “Look”

Hunk and Lance looked towards the monitor seeing a giant fissure on the planet. “What the hell happened here?” Lance spoke barley above a whisper.

“I don’t know.” Coran solemnly responded.

“Coran, do you believe it to still be safe to land?” Allura looked to the orange haired man.

“I would say so Princess. I advise we land as far away from that as possible.” Coran assured the Princess as he continued to look at the planet examining everything about it.

“So we’re going in then?” Keith looked around at everyone waiting for an answer.

“ Yes, I would say any kind of advantage we can get on the Galra is a win for us. If there is a weapon on here then we should do everything within our power to prevent it from falling into enemy hands” Allura straightened herself in response.

“ What if it’s safer there then with us.” Lance mumbled more to himself. 

“I agree with Allura on this” Shiro interjected.

“I’m with Lance on this one” Coran offered his stance on the subject.

“I’m also with Allura on this. We can’t just let is sit there and hope for the best. We don’t know a lot on this place. It might not be safe here either.” Pidge stated.

“I’m for both. We don’t even know what this “weapon” looks like. Much less what this planet has in store for us. We could be walking into a trap guys. However if its as powerful as we think it is then we should do what we can.” Hunk through in his opinion.

“This isn’t the time to speculate about it. We cant let the Garla get their hands on this thing no matter what. I predict that our best course of action is to go down there and scope it out.” Pidge shot back. “Shiro you’re our leader, you decide” Everyone turned to look at Shiro.

“Uh, Well I don’t see the harm in going down to investigate. If it becomes to dangerous then we can leave knowing it would be in better hands down there then with us.” Shiro responded with authority. “Allura how soon can you get us into the planet's atmosphere?”

“It would only take a few dobashes to maneuver through the debris. Coran we should make preparations quickly.”

“If that is what you believe is best.” 

Allura and Coran made their way to the castles controls. The other paladins followed suit settling into their seats ready to help if Allura requested assistance. Allura hovered her hands over the two glowing controllers before she moved the ship closer to the hidden planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A whole lot didn't happen in this chapter. However their is a lot that's about to happen in the next chapter possibly more depending on how long it gets and if I feel that there is a good stopping point at any time. I'll shoot for Wednesday to update another chapter. Their may be another chapter today as well depending on how far I get on it tonight.


	7. We All Go Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “For all upon the ship that lands,  
> must come upon the trails at hand,  
> for here a trial you must pass,  
> to prove yourself to the past,  
> Remember fear is all that lasts  
> As you make your way into our grasp.”

As the castle was flying through the skys of the strange planet there was a few notable things. One for a planet that should be dying it was very much alive, two there was no sentient beings on the planet anymore and three there was a giant temple looking structure carved into the highest mountain they could see. Now if that didn’t scream Super powerful weapon hidden here lance didn’t know where else they could look. It was like an Indiana Jones movie waiting to happen. 

The Alteans landed the ship in small cleared area near the base of the large structure. As the ship made contact with the planet a screen had popped up in front of them. At first it started out as just static before Pidge and Hunk made quick work of finding the correct frequency. As they made the correct alterations a deep mechanical voice came through almost to clearly.

“For all upon the ship that lands,  
must come upon the trails at hand,  
for here a trial you must pass,  
to prove yourself to the past,  
Remember fear is all that lasts  
As you make your way into our grasp.”

“Did it just try and riddle us into leaving” Hunk was the first to speak.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean” Pidge throws her hand frustratedly into the air. 

“Well I believe its saying anyone upon this ship must go through the trials in order to obtain whatever this planet is protecting.” Coran started staring down at his screen with the monolog up as his eyes quickly scanned it over and over again.

“Okay so everyone on the ship. That means you and Allura have to come with us as well?” Shiro’s brows furrowed.

“I believe that’s what it’s saying” Coran looked to the older boy. 

“That means we’re leaving the castle defenseless with no one to keep a look out. I don’t like the idea of everyone leaving the ship in an unknown place. We don’t even know if it’s really uninhabited.”

“Shiro, I don’t think we have much of a choice.” Allura started. “However I believe that we shouldn’t worry about being attacked here. Unless someone else notices this planet does not seem to be inhabited by anything. I believe that we are completely safe here.”

“Minus the possibly destructive weapon that hides within this planet somewhere.” Pidge interjects. 

“Always the optimist Pidge.” Lance gave her a side glance.

“Are we all okay with just leaving the castle. I mean no offence Coran but we’ve never seen you in battle. Are you capable of protecting yourself?” Keith gave a hard stair towards the older Altean trying to size him up. 

“No offence taken my boy. However if it puts your mind to rest I was Alfors right hand mand aside from the paladins of old. When it comes to engaging in battle I can hold my own.” Corran stated with finality. 

“So we’re all going to leave the safety of the ship and trek up this giant mountain.” Hunk looked at everyone before looking towards shiro and Allura hopping this was all a joke. 

“It doesn’t sound like we have much of a choice” Allura was the one to respond with first. 

“I think our bigger problem is these trials we apparently have to go through” Lance leaned back into his chair. “Is no one else worried about that?”

“How bad could a ‘trial’ be compared to Zarkon” Pidge shot back adjusting her glasses. 

Lance shot pidge one of his signature smiles pushing back the unsettling feeling building up inside him. “You’re right Pidge what could be worse than Zarkon?” 

“I’m glad you see it my way Lance.” A smile starting to form. 

“So we’re doing this?” Hunk questioned a whine to his voice as he shifted in his seat. 

“Yes we are. “ Shiro responded before looking towards Coran. “Can you see if the planet has breathable air or if we’ll need to suite up for this?”

“Yes, looking at our scans of the planet it has clean breathable air for species like us. I also took a scan of any life forms on the planet. The only things that seem to be alive is the animal like creatures. None of them seem to be apart of the dangerous category. In Fact this looks like a very peaceful place.” Coran finished. 

“I don’t trust that statement. The last time you told us a planet was peaceful Hunk and I almost died.” Lance looked towards Coran with a pout. 

“Yeah I agree. Your idea of safe and nice planet seems to hold a different meaning on Altea.” Hunk added quickly trying to avoid any trials and secret monsters. 

“You made it out alive didn’t you?” Keith smirked at Lance. 

“Shiro and I had a good time getting green. So Coran’s been correct like half the time” Pidge joined in.

“Alright guys we can save the joking for later. Right now we need to focus on the task at hand. Trials or no trials remember that we have each other. We’re a team that can surpass anything that’s thrown at us.” Shiro stated with confidence. 

They all had headed towards the front door to the castle. As they arrived and Allura made to open the door it released with a hiss as a ramp was slowly lowering itself to the ground. Everyone had started to make their decent down towards the light blue grass that surrounded them. Lance quickly did a 360 looking at everything surrounding them. There was a path lined with what Lance was guessing trees. They had a strange purple hue, a surface smoother then Lance had ever felt before, and to it. The ‘leaves’ for the odd trees had some of the softest fur like substance growing out at the ends of the branches. The dirt that he could see was a soft shade of orange. The sky reflected a darker blue to the light grass. It didn’t take the rest of the team long to reach the steps of the old temple. Pidge had called out his name to get his attention. As he noticed how far he lagged behind he picked up his speed. Lance had reached them only a moment later and motioned for them to continue on. They had all started to ascend the long stairway that seemed to reach into the sky's. They knew the temple reached height into the sky from when they descended. However now that they were on the ground, and with a new perspective of the mountain, they all gave a slight grown and the journey they now had to make. Lance was the last of them to make their way onto the temple steps and as soon as all of them had made contact with the solid stone everything suddenly went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay!~ so they finally made it onto the planet. Also sorry for the bad poem thing at the beginning. My next update goal Is for Sunday. The next chapter may be split up into multiple ones for Sunday just because there's a lot that'll be going on and it's already getting lengthy. Forewarning the chapters following after this will get darker. I will be posting warnings as I go per chapter so keep an eye on those. I know not a whole lot has been happening in the last couple of chapters but next chapter a lot is going to be happening to all members of Voltron. Thank you to everyone who has read this fan-fiction you have all been amazing and I love hearing from you in the comments.


	8. Against My Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The panic pushed up again his heart matching suit. This couldn’t be happening. He wasn’t back on a Galra ship. He couldn’t be. The last thing he remembered was everyone on the steps ready to ascend up the long mountain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few warnings. First there is descriptions of blood and violence in this chapter. There is also a death scene as well. The blood and violence is kind of the whole chapter so I can't really give you a specific area to skip over.

Shiro woke with a splitting headache as a groan escaped his lips. He attempted to bring his hand towards his head only to be met with resistance. His eyes fluttered open as if fighting back the unconsciousness that threatened to overtake him. He pushed back the panic that was building inside him. Another groan as he looked towards his arm. His heartbeat sped up at the sight. A purple light streamed across his arm, over his torso, and towards the other side. Successfully pinning him down to the metal table. There was an identical one pinning down his legs as well. He knew this scene. He had lived this scene. He tried to push away the building panic but could completely push it aside.

There was a soft chuckle to his right as a rough scratchy voice sung into his ear. “My sweet Champion you have come home to me.”

The panic pushed up again his heart matching suit. This couldn’t be happening. He wasn’t back on a Galra ship. He couldn’t be. The last thing he remembered was everyone on the steps ready to ascend up the long mountain. His eyes widened at the memory. He fought against his restraints harder. A long boney purple finger grazed across his cheek. “What do you want with me” He screamed. “Why am I here! What have you done with my team.”

“Oh do not worry Champion. You are here for an overdue upgrade” Another cackle. “I’m here to make you my greatest weapon. As for your team do not worry about them. They are being well taken care of.”

“You aren’t real. This is just a bad memory. You can work through this Shiro. Just breath.” He calmed himself taking long slow breaths. “This isn’t real.”

“Oh every bit of this is real, Champion.” A faint purple glow lit up the room as he was surrounded by the Haggar and a few Galrens. Suddenly there was pain. His mind became muddled as his back arched into the restraint. He tried to quench the screams but to no avail. His mouth opened and he let out a gut wrenching shriek.What felt like an eternity had only lasted a moment and the pain was replaced with a heated sensation on his mid upper arm on his right side.

He knew what this was. He knew exactly what moment this reminded him of. It was when Haggar stole his arm from him the first time. When she tested out a new weapon. It was her way of rewarding him for doing so well in the gladiator games. Her way of showing love to her pets. The last time he felt pain like this was when he got his prosthetic arm. He wanted it to stop. He would do anything to not have to relive it again. He could feel the blood trickling around what was left of his arm before the lightning magic had a chance to coagulate the blood vessels. Tears were pricking against his eyes but he wouldn’t give Haggar the satisfaction of knowing that he was in any kind of turmoil. His body relaxed back into the metal slab.

He squeezed his eyes shut “This isn’t real. I’m not really here. It’s just a memory, a flashback. Just breath in and out”

“Champion, you are here. You never left.” She cooed before more druid magic splintered across his body. His muscles tightened in response his back arched again. He clenched his teeth. Body to tense to scream. It lasted for a few seconds before the pain eased away only to be replaced with new pain.

It felt like an eternity later before the tourcher seemed to stop. His throat was raw from the screams that had escaped his mouth. There were multiple cuts scattered across his body. There was a Galren soldier hovering over him before he slide a needle into the crook of his left elbow. The alien drug seemed to take effect immediately as his eyelids slipped shut forced into an unconscious state.

When he awoke next his body was being shoved into the gladiator ring. His body still felt heavy from the anesthesia. His arm heavy at his side where they druids had taken his perfectly fine working limb. He stumbled into the ring with the grace of a chicken as he fell onto his knees only barely stopping himself with his hands. He hefted himself onto his feet. He took in his surroundings ready for the onslaught that would soon begin once his opponent appeared.

There was Twin pillars just behind him sporting the Galra favorite purple and silver colors. Standing tall against the walls of the arena. A few scattered boxes laid about across the artificial ground. There were a few inch thick plates suspended in air by the druid magic for any aerial attacks one might try. It wasn’t a standard arena setup that he’s ever had to endure. This was meant for him. This setup was meant for a human. Confusion contorted his features as his muscles tensed. His brain started to work in overdrive as the drugs finally started to wear off. Everything inside him was scream that whatever Haggar and her croons had planned it was not in his favor.

The doors on the other side of the field hissed open as his opponent was forcefully shoved through. His stomach dropped as a familiar figure came into view. Shiro let out a shaky breath as horror and dread spread throughout him. “Matt?” The kid looked shaken and bloodied as if he was already in the middle of a fight. Matt was guarding his face with his left hand as his other was holding a dagar. His body shaking as he looked towards Shiro with fear in his eyes. This wasn’t the current Matt he knew. This was a Matt that he had let down. Had disappointed by not getting him to safety fast enough. One that apparently never got out of this ship and away from harm. Shiro couldn’t hurt Matt. It wasn’t who he was. It wasn’t who he ever wanted to be.

“Shiro, Please don’t kill me.” His heart was shattering looking at the terrified boy begging for his life.

“Matt,” Shiro begged. “I would never hu-”

“Only one shall live, finish it NOW! May the games begin” Zarkons voiced boomed through out the arena.

Shiro clenched his teeth at the tyrant. “I will not kill him” He seethed glaring up towards Zarkon.

“Then you shall watch him die at the hands of one of our own.” With a wave of his hand there were two Galra on top of him. His arms were bent behind his back twisting in a way that had them almost popping out of their sockets. His legs were kicked out from under him forcing him to his knees. He looked on with horror as another Galra soldier made his way over to Matt. He twirled a hand blade between his fingers as he inched closer to the young boy with a smile of pure joy. 

Shiro was scared. He was scared about what they would do to Matt. Shiro had lived through more than his share of horrors. He refused to let the younger boy die at the hands of the Galra. He was also terrified about what they would let Haggar do to him if he didn’t comply. He was scared that he was going to always be the helpless kid who could never save any one. He clenched his jaw and squared his shoulders, as much as he could with the way they were being held, as he looked up towards Zarkon. Shiro clenched his Jaw before relaxing. “Don’t” he bellowed. “I will fight him, I will give you the show you wanted.”

Zarkon waved off the three soldiers standing in the arena dismissing them from their spots. The Galren that was closest to Matt gave a low growl in anger as his prey had just been snatched away from him. “Let the game begin.” The cruel leader smiled above him.

Matts eyes widened. “I will have blood” Shiro screeched as he lunged towards the shaking boy. He brought his right arm up as he formed a fist. Matt had backed himself up into the wall. Shiro snap his fist out slamming it into the wall and leaned in close to Matt and let out a shaky breath. “Matt you need to be strong for your family. For Pidge. You’re smart, use that to you advantage. I won’t be able to help you anymore.” He gave him a warm hearted smile.

“Shiro I can’t kill you” Matt almost shrieked.

“You have to! Besides if I had to die in a Space surrounded by aliens I’m glad it’s by you. I mean honestly why be killed by strangers when you can get your best friend to do it.”  
Before either of the two boys had anymore time to think Shiros left arm snapped forward grabbing Matts right hand a slamming it into his chest, just slightly left of the breast bone. He clenched his teeth as he watched blood start to trickle down from the wound. He Gave Matt a reassuring smile. “I don’t blame you, nor do I hate you.” He let out a shaky breath as everything around him started to fade into darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was fun to write. I know this was centered around Shiro but the others will get their time to shine. The next few chapters are going to focus on specific characters as well. I know Lance wasn't in this chapter but I promise he's still the main focus of the story. He's also mentioned in a few of up coming chapters before the team gets back together.


	9. Always To Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tall soldier bared its fangs as he re-position his blade to rest against his throat. Putting just the slightest bit of pressure against his skin. The blade was outlined in fresh pure red. “I’ll ask you again. Where are they!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning's ensue. Graphic depictions of violence again. There is a few death scenes again.

Pidge had awaken to a smooth cold surface. There was a pounding in her head as she urged her body to move upright. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to get them to focus. As she reopened them to gather her surroundings she could make out two bodies. They were strapped to chairs. Their heads where hanging low. Arms bound behind them. Legs tied to the legs of the chair. One had hair reflecting the same color as her own, the other was a little older with graying hair, and with a hitch in her breath her eyes widened.

It was her family. The two people in the whole universe she wished to see again. She didn’t know how it was possible but her heart raced in excitement and dread for only a moment as she looked upon her family. Once her vision become crystal clear did she notice the blood stain that streaked mats face. There was small cuts all over his body. Her father mirroring his injuries.

As if on cue a tall lanky figure step out in front of them. A blade glistened as light reflected off of it. “Tell me where they are!” A voice barked. He brought the blade under Sam’s chin rising his head forward and forcing Sam to look at him.

“I already told you I don’t know where they are. ” Sam Holts voice was barely above a whisper.

The tall soldier bared its fangs as he re-position his blade to rest against his throat. Putting just the slightest bit of pressure against his skin. The blade was outlined in fresh pure red. “I’ll ask you again. Where are they!”

“I don’t know and even if I did I would never tell you.” Sam spat

“Then you are of no use to me” He dug his blade deeper into Sam’s throat as he quickly dragged it across his skin. Slicing open the aorta.

Bile threatened to rise inside Pidge as she chokes down a scream. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she watched her father chock on his own blood. The gurgling sound of his attempt to breath forever haunting her. Blood started to pool onto his lap before falling to the floor around him. His head fell as his eyes become lifeless.

Pidge threw herself forward rushing towards the guards as she let out a near animalistic scream. An invisible force sent her body flying backwards. She landed on her shoulder as she rolled against the hard ground landing on her feet. She gritted her teeth. She had to save Matt. She couldn’t lose both of them. 

“Better luck with the next one.” The figure kicked her brothers chair. “Wake up” He barked.

Matt slightly lifted his head. One eye was fully swollen as dried blood streaked his face. His lip was puffy as a gash was still dripping crimson. There were claw marks dragged across his left cheek. One was deep enough you could see the red stained teeth. “Tell us where they are.”

“No” Matt crocked out. A hand cracked against his head snapping it sideways. Matt gritted his teeth. His cheek responded as new blood started to form from the pull of the muscles and tight healing skin. he looked up at the Galren. “You’ll never beat Voltron. You will lose” He smiled tauntingly (well as much as one could with a swollen face).

The Purple man slammed his fist right into Matts nose while jutting it upwards. Matts eyes rolled back into his head as bone sliced through his brain killing him instantly. Pidge let out a gut wrenching cry as she pounded her hands against the invisible wall. They were right there in front of her and she was helpless to save them. She was to late. She choked on the air as if it was suffocating. Everything suddenly becoming to much for her. Her body shook as the tears continued to fall. As the pain continued to strengthen in started to morph into pure anger. Her hands curled into themselves forming fist. She pushed herself off of the ground her back was hunched. She was ready to attack. She bolted forward towards the bodies. She bent her knees pushing off the ground and flinging herself forward. Arm raised above her head as she snapped it forward aiming for the Galrens head. The Image in front of her faded into a wisp of smoke. She landed gracefully from the sudden change to her surroundings.

A new scene unfolded in front of her. There were four figures standing in front of her. There was a split between them as Matt and Sam stood on one side and Hunk and Shiro stood at the other. “One group will be set free while the stays here with me imprisoned.”

“You want me to choose between my team and family?” The anger was growing. “I won’t play your game. I’ll save both of them.” She turned looking for the source of the voice.

There had to be a logical reason to all of this. She just needed to figure out why she was here and she would be able to save them. What had she been doing before this all started. She put her hands to her temples as she tried to remember. The pounding in her head strengthened as her body tensed at the new pain. She opened her eyes to look at the people standing in front of her.

Blood started to spill out from their eyes as they stood motionless. “You can not. One will be set free while the other stays with me. The longer you wait to choose the more damaged they will become. I suggest you don’t take to long in your decision.”

“Why are you doing this. I can save both.” She screamed in desperation.

“You can not.” Sam and Shiro fell to the ground as blood ejected itself from their mouths. Both looked up in unison as they begged her to make it stop.

Pidge wanted to desperately save her family. She had been searching everywhere for them. She only wanted to bring them home. To know they were safe. To keep them away from all of this. Tears streamed down her face again and her breath caught in her chest. She covered her ears trying to make the noises stop. Her heart was breaking and she just wanted this all to be over with.

She knew from the beginning which choice she had to make. Shiro and hunk were needed to form Voltron. The universe needed saving. Everything was bigger than her family bigger than herself. In that moment she wished she was back home or at the garrison still searching for clues as to where her family could be. To make the choice to save her family easier. She wish she didn’t get the chance to know the two paladins in front of her. She wanted nothing more to save her family but in order to save them she would have to let them go. She closed her eyes and turned towards Shiro and Hunk with a shaky breath she responded. “ I chose them. I chose Voltron.” Pidge made a silent promise to herself that she would come back and save her family but she couldn’t do it alone.

Her father and brother fell through the floor and out of her sight. Hunk was helping Shiro off the ground who was looking towards Pidge with regret in his eyes. “Pidge that was your family. We would have found a way out. You should have picked them.”

“I can’t save everyone by myself.” She choked out. Her body slumped to the ground as everything around her started to fade into darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, this was something. Again each character is getting their own chapter. Even lance will get his. Let me know how you liked these chapters so far and if there is anything i can improve on. There will probably be a few more chapters coming in today as well. I was going to make it one long chapter but decided to make them all individual chapters. Thank you as always the kudos and comments brighten up my day. I love hearing from all of you. Thank you again for reading.


	10. Alone In The Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith choked back a sob. He didn’t want to relive all the times he’d been abandoned. How he’d been alone. He didn’t want to think about how throughout most of his childhood he was the unwanted kid. He didn’t want to think about how his team would one day realize that he wasn’t worth keeping around. Not worth the effort to try and open up. Despair started to crush him as a panicked gasp of air half filled his lungs. He couldn’t be abandoned by another family. And Voltron was his family. He couldn’t lose them.

Keith woke to nothingness. Well nothingness and a splitting headache. “What the hell happened.” He groaned as he attempted to sit up. 

His world started to spin at the movement. “Okay so sitting is out of the question for now.” He pinched the bridge of his nose waiting for everything to stop moving. “Okay so what happened? We were all heading towards the top of that weird temple thing and then poof darkness.” Keith’s mind was muddled as it slowly worked to make coherent thoughts. “So maybe we fell through a trap door to the basement.” Keith waited a tick before he noticed how eerily silent the room was. “Either they’re all dead, captured, or we didn’t all end up in the same spot.” Keith gave a frustrated groan. “Shiro! Allura!” His voice started to rise. “Hey anyone, can you hear me” He waited for a response… nothing. 

“Come on guys this isn’t funny. Where the hell are you? Did Lance put you up to this?” He waited to hear a familiar laugh. A quick comment on how Keith was so scared to be left in the dark. Alone. He hated the word. He was rewarded with silence. “This isn’t funny.” Panicked coursed through his veins. He forced himself to stand to his feet pushing off the ground as he attempted to find something, anything. 

His breathing became sporadic. His body flew forward as he tripped over himself. Images of a lonely raven haired boy flooded his memory. Keith when he was seven abandoned by his family. Keith when he was ten, locked away in a closet only to be forgotten for three whole days. Another image of eleven year old Keith sitting on some porch steps waiting for his new supposed family to come home. A family that he would never see again.

Keith choked back a sob. He didn’t want to relive all the times he’d been abandoned. How he’d been alone. He didn’t want to think about how throughout most of his childhood he was the unwanted kid. He didn’t want to think about how his team would one day realize that he wasn’t worth keeping around. Not worth the effort to try and open up. Despair started to crush him as a panicked gasp of air half filled his lungs. He couldn’t be abandoned by another family. And Voltron was his family. He couldn’t lose them. 

 Another image of Keith sitting in the back of a strange family’s car. Idle chatter filling the vehicle when all Keith wanted to do was cave in on himself. A boy 5 or 6 years older than him giving him the warmest smile he had ever received. He was reminded of the birthdays that came after. How for whatever reason this family hadn’t given up on him. He remembered the caring hugs that soothed his anger as he broke plates and vases around the house in a fit of childish anger. The understanding smiles that told him everything would be okay. (Even if he did get grounded for that one). He pushed them to the point of breaking and they still kept him. Never letting him go. Allowing him to find a place to call home. How if they never picked him up. If they would have given up on him like everyone else had before them. He definitely wouldn’t be where he was today. Hell Keith didn’t know if he would even be alive right now.

He remember how lost he felt when Shiro had gone missing on the kerberos mission. How he let the government conspiracies take over his thoughts. Not wanting to let go of the one person he still had. If Shiro had really died at that moment. Then Keith really would have been alone. He was upset at himself for not trying to talk Shiro out of it. For letting him go into space with only two scientists and himself. How anytime someone mentioned that the crews deaths were because of a piloting error he couldn’t hold back. How his rash decisions and acting upon his emotions had gotten him kicked out of the garrison. How one of the teachers would never be able to see out of his eye again because he couldn’t hold back. Because he was to afraid to be alone. To let everyone go. How he couldn’t tell anyone this because there was no one else but Shiro. 

Keith shuddered at the thoughts flowing through his mind. Images of his team started to swarm his mind and he realized just how much he cared about them. They where his family. He wouldn’t give them up. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to lose the way Pidge engaged into his idle chatter on government conspiracy theories. He didn’t want to give up Hunks warm smiles and bone crushing hugs, and the food that reminded him of home. He couldn’t lose the closest person he had to brother. The one who had gotten him out of more trouble than he could count. He couldn’t lose Shiro again. He didn’t want to lose Allura. Someone who had lost so much and still carried an heir of dignity about her.  He thought of Coran and how he was always willing to listen no matter what it was about. He was just always there cheery and chipper as always. 

Everyone seemed to come before him and then there was Lance. As much as he wanted to pretend he hated the boy he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. Not when he was always so happy. The way he knew what to say to bring a little light into his life or to distract him from some of his darker thoughts. Lance was like that with everyone though. He looked out for them when they couldn’t look out for themselves. Sometimes it was loud and obnoxious other times it was silent and unnoticed. As his team seemed to slowly appear before him he knew. He knew he wouldn’t be giving any of it up. He wouldn’t let himself become the lonely kid he used to be. Even if he was alone he wasn’t lonely. They wouldn’t abandon him. He let out a slow breath. As  he smiled up at the group of people standing in front of him. Everything slowly started to faded into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's Keith suffering in the darkness. I may have another chapter up tomorrow it all depends on if i get done with things and can proof read the chapter tomorrow. Other wise the next one will be up on Sunday for sure. As always thank you for all the love given to this story.   
> Constructive critisism is welcomed. Let me know what you thought of this chapter as well.   
> Hope you all have a lovely rest of your day~


	11. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk started to slightly panic at the lack of noise but didn’t dwell to deeply on it. He ran through his living and out the front door. He made it to the side walk before he came to a sudden halt. There with one leg on the ground and the other propped up on a bike pedal was, at least to him, a small elementary kid.  He had a short cropped blond hair. Chocolate brown eyes. He was well built for a first grader with a nasty personality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW there is racism in this chapter. Also a racist slang word.

Hunk sluggishly sat up cradling his head as pain pulsed against his skull. He slowly opened his eyes he was met with a familiar sight. The walls were light yellow in color. A fireplace took up one of the walls. A deep red rug sat in the middle of the room.  A long white floral couch sat in the middle of the room towards the fire place. Two light blue recliners with cat paw feet sat on either side of the couch. Hunk took in the familiar scent of lavender oranges. He took in a deep breath and sighed. He was home. He didn’t know how it was possible or how he had ended up back there but it was home. A smile grew on his face as an unnerving feeling was settling in his stomach. There were a few things that were out of place. He noticed a picture hanging on a wall that hadn’t been there for years, but maybe his parents decided to put it back up again. There was an old incense holder that he remembered him and lance had broken one day after a full on pillow fight. He didn’t sit to think to long on the differences as he started to run throughout his house calling for his family. He headed bounded straight for the kitchen in pure excitement. “Mom, I’m home.” He yelled into the empty room. He continued throughout the house yelling in excitement to inform them that he was back and safe. That he didn’t just disappear. That he was alive and well. He wanted to tell them so much of what had happened to him. To tell them stories about space from the time he went to the ballmara, to when he saved a water planet from a mind control enslavement. 

Hunk started to slightly panic at the lack of noise but didn’t dwell to deeply on it. He ran through his living and out the front door. He made it to the side walk before he came to a sudden halt. There with one leg on the ground and the other propped up on a bike pedal was, at least to him, a small elementary kid.  He had a short cropped blond hair. Chocolate brown eyes. He was well built for a first grader with a nasty personality. 

“Well look who decided to finally show up” He chided “Sir tubs a lot. We missed you at school today.”

Hunk stared at him speechless. His bully was tiny. He wasn’t in the present he was in his past. His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach as a new sense of loss washed over him. “Berry, I really don’t have time for you right now.” He brushed him off quickly making his way past the kid. 

“Ha, says the kid who can’t even run around the gym once before huffing like the big bad wolf. It must take you all day just to get down your stairs.” He mocked.

Hunk quickened his steps in response. Yeah sure they were harmless nick names from a child but this was his childhood. These were things he heard relentlessly from the kids at school and he didn’t feel like reliving those memories. However as he made his way towards his house it seemed to get further and further away from him. He wasn’t moving. He was stuck in place forced to listen to his old bully call out name after name. Forced to relive the memory. He clenched his jaw and continued to look forward. That is until he heard a cry of pain. He quickly turned toward the kid to find another. He wore a dirt cover blue t-shirt and jeans that were cut off at the knees. He had piercing blue eyes and chocolate brown hair. His skin was a caramel color. He un-clenched his hand as it shot out to grab hunks. Next thing he knew he was being dragged far away from the blond haired kid. He was dragged into an ally way before the both stopped gasping for air. 

Hunk looked towards the small boy as everything was transformed into his old middle school hallway. He was suddenly surrounded by his classmates. A slightly older Berry was standing directly in front of him as the young kids chanted in unison. “Fatty Fatty two by four can’t fit through the kitchen door.” He hung his head low. He didn’t want to make eye contact. He could feel the tears starting to form. He really didn’t want to relive the worst years of his life. He wanted to find some place to hide. To get away from all the kids he had to live through growing up. It was moments like these that he wished Lance was around. Lance always new how to make things better for him. Lance was his first friend and for a while he was his only friend. He didn’t just see Hunks appearance. He saw beyond that. He always did. If it wasn’t for lance Hunk didn’t know if he would be were he was today. If he would even still be alive. Hunk closed his eyes trying to shut out the voices of his classmates. Trying not to think on the dark thoughts creeping into his mind. He never once thought of suicide but if he never met Lance or had amazing parents would he have? Hunk really wanted Lance to show up to stop them. To make it better again.   
   
As If right on cue a younger smaller Lance walked up from behind him hands holding onto the straps of his backpack. “Leave him alone guys this isn’t even funny. Sides Blondie, I saw your mom in an electric wheelchair yesterday. If that ain't fat I don’t know what is.” Lance glared up at the taller boy. 

“At least my mom isn’t a Langosta.” he spat. “I’m a true American unlike you and your little tubby friend. Maybe you should go back to where you belong you ingrates. Oh wait I forgot. Even your own countries didn’t want you”

He gave an over exaggerated gasp “Oh no, I’m so sorry I didn’t know that your mother's womb bore a disease.” 

Hunk would have found this moment funny if Berry hadn’t rushed forward successfully knocking lance out with one swing of his fist. Lance had gotten three days suspension and Berry had only gotten detention after school for a week. It boiled Hunks blood. Hunk wished he was the type of person to fight back. However back then he just wasn’t someone who could fight the system. He was never good at confrontation and even less so when it came to bullies. The soft lights of the school around him slowly started to burn in a purple hue. As he still sat on the floor chills ran up his spine leaving goosebumps in its wake.  He watched as Berry’s image contorted and formed into the Galren leader. 

A low deep gravelly voice cut through him. “Young Paladin, you were never meant for greatness.” Hunk tried to swallow the lump in his throat as Zarkon himself stood before him. “You can’t even beat a small child. How will you ever beat me.” A chuckle echoed around him.

“I have my friends. As Voltron we’ll beat you.” He tried to sound brave and strong but it came out more as a slight whimper. As if he was trying to assure himself that it was true. 

“Where are you friends now? I only see you.” Zarkon motioned arms spread wide to the whole room. He swung his head back and forth around the area they were located. Hunks fingers dug into the ground gathering dirt into his fists. “It looks like you are the only one who believes that to be true.” 

Hunks body frozen in place as Zarkon continued. “I will take what is most precious to you.” A smile forming on his face. “I shall capture your friends and force you to watch them suffer. I will make sure their deaths are slow and painful.” Zarkon gave a dark smile “You are weak.” 

Hunks eyes widened at his proclamation. He couldn’t be the reason his friends were captured. He couldn’t let himself be the reason they all failed because he was to scared to stand up to Zarkon. He gritted his teeth, squared his shoulders, and looked Zarkon right in the eyes. He pushed himself off the ground bayard forming in his hand as he aimed at the leader of the Galra. He forced a battle cry out filling the silent space as he set of a barrage of blasts in Zarkons direction. 

“I may be alone but I am not weak.” He bellowed “I won’t let you win so easily.”

His bullets slowed a sign that it would soon need to re-charge. There was a dust that hung in the air blurring his vision as everything slowly started to fade back into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter. Let me know what you think in the comments.   
> More suffering in the next couple of chapters. Also full on Langst is coming up soon.


	12. Gain and loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The headache started to strengthen as block spots entered her vision and nausea threatened to take over. She closed her eyes as she tried to lessen the throbbing pain. She didn’t know why she was in the past. Why she was relieving the worst day of her life. She was a mixture of emotions swirling inside her as she fought against the pure joy of being with her family again, and the dread of losing them a second time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Graphic violance happens in this chapter. Like blood and bone graphic so there's that.

A light softly brushed against Alluras eyelids as she shut them tighter only to be met with a pounding headache. The world seemed to spin around her even if she couldn’t see it. She rolled into the soft surface taking in a deep breath. She paused for a moment as she breathed in the familiar scent. Her hands flitted across the soft surface. It was way to soft and inviting to be the any surface of the temple stairs they were just on. Her body jolted upright as she scanned her surroundings. She was sitting on her bed with the the thinner Altean sheets made for their mid summer heat. There was an hourglass like side table decorated in the neon Altean blue. A vanity had been sitting on the wall opposite her. She stared at the reflection looking back at her. She didn’t look any different mind the slight messing bed head and her being in her nightgown. Her heart rate started to escalate as excitement started to form inside her. 

Allura threw the bed coverings off of her as she bolted towards the door not wanting to waste another minute in bed. It slid open as she neared allowing her to glide past without stopping. She had taken this path many times in her life even if she hadn’t had the opportunity to make her way down the familiar hall as of late. As she passed by the windows in the castle she had gotten glimpses of rolling hills scattered with pink flowers and a vast blue ocean. She rounded a corner running straight into the lively orange haired Altean.

“Coran!” Allura practically squealed as she threw her arms around him. “I’m so glad you are safe and well. I thought all of us had been separated.”

Coran was frozen in surprise, his arms suspended in the air. He glanced over at the other Altean that was with him as if he was requesting permission. “Um Princess-”

A deep rough laugh escaped the the other Altean cutting off Coran. “Allura what has gotten into you?”

Allura released herself from Coran as she turned towards the darker man. “Father?” She breathed. 

He pulled her into a hug “Daughter you act like you haven’t seen me in decafeebs.”

Tears started to swell in her eyes “How is this possible? This can’t be real.”

“Um, Princess I think it might be best if you laid down and rested a little longer. You aren't looking to well” Coran interjected with concern. 

“I’m fine Coran. I must be plagued with bad dreams is all.” She assured them.

“I hope all is well Allura. Now Coran and I must be on our way. We have important matters to discuss with the relocation of the Galren residents.” He patted her head as he motioned Coran to follow him down the hall towards the control room of the Castle. 

Allura refused to let him go so easily as she insisted on attending their meeting. “Father I am coming with you. I am not a child anymore.”

“Allura you are a child. You haven’t reached half your life span yet. There is no place for war talk in your life. This isn’t a request Allura.”

“Maybe if you had let me in on your talks You wouldn’t have left me in a cryopod to finish up the mess Voltron had created in the first place.” Anger boiling in her veins.

“Allura that is no way to talk to your father.” Coran interjected. 

“My Father died ten thousand years ago. I don’t know what this is but I can not lose the people I love again.”

“Allura what has gotten into you?” Alfor respond with concern

“Father please listen to me. Zarkon is not dead and if I’m correct about this he is coming.” She pleaded.

Alfor turned to the younger man. “ Coran please take Allura back to her room and make sure she gets some rest.” He gripped Corans shoulder before letting it slide away. “I must make my way to bridge. When you have finished with Allura you will come and join us.”

“As you wish your majesty.” Coran gave Alfor a slight bow before turning to Allura and leading her back to her room. 

She was slightly reluctant but new if she pressed any further she would have to deal with worse then being sent to her room for a nap. 

It was a short walk to her room as Coran made his way over to the bed making it acceptable for royalty to lay upon again. “Princess I believe it best for you to rest now. We’ll still be here when you wake.”

“Coran please you must listen to me. Altea will be lost if the paladins leave with their lions. You must persuade Father against it.” She begged. 

“Allura is this all about that dream you were talking about earlier.” Concern dripped from his voice. 

“It wasn’t a dream. We were stuck in cryopods for ten thousand years before the paladins of new awoken us from slumber. I have been fighting against Zarkon with them ever since.”

“Princess Allura, You know that Zarkon passed away with Hanerva in the rift. There is no way either of them could be alive. The funerals are set to be for tomorrow.”

“Why won't you listen to me Coran.” She grabbed him by the shoulders desperate to make him understand.  

Coran gently grabbed her wrists lightly lifting them off himself. “Princess I am listening but I’ve never witnessed the dead reanimating itself before. I will talk to Alfor for you, but he will be as sceptical on this matter as I am. Now enough talk of death it is time you rest. He waited for her to be fully adjusted and comfortable on her bed before turning the lights off and exiting the room. 

The headache started to strengthen as block spots entered her vision and nausea threatened to take over. She closed her eyes as she tried to lessen the throbbing pain. She didn’t know why she was in the past. Why she was relieving the worst day of her life. She was a mixture of emotions swirling inside her as she fought against the pure joy of being with her family again, and the dread of losing them a second time. 

She didn’t know how long she had been laying in bed before red lights were flashing and the alarm was blaring. Coran was suddenly by her side dragging her out of the bed. He was shouting things at her but she barely registered what they were. She stumbled after him as she was brought to the familiar room and two cryopods opened and waiting. Her head seemed to clear at the sight. Her eyes grazed her surroundings as she searched for her Father. 

He was walking towards her with regret in his eyes “Allura I am sorry about all of this.” 

She knew what came after this. She was going to go back into the pods to slumber and wait for someone to activate the pods for them to awaken. However it wouldn’t be another Altean. It wouldn’t be her father. It would be five human children to young to be fighting a war that had been going on for far to long. Allura dodged Alfor as she made her way to the door. 

“I will not be put into the safety of a pod when my people are hurting and in danger.” Anger boiling inside her. 

“Allura you will thank me one day. Please do this for me. I can not watch you die. You are to young for this.” Alfor pleaded.

“I will not budge on this. We are ending this here and now.” She rushed out the door to find armor that would fit her. 

Alfor looked to Coran “Please make sure she is safe. If the opportunity arises please get in those pods.” 

“Understood, and Alfor good luck.” Coran rushed after Allura leaving Alfor alone in the room. 

“You act like I need luck” He chuckled at his old friends statement. He soon left for the castle doors to face Zarkon in one last grandstand to save his people and his home. 

Allura had already made her way into one of the unused Altean armor. She wasn’t a little princess anymore. She had been fighting the war against Zarkon for months now and maybe this was her change to end him before he overtook the universe. 

“Allura please what do you think you’re doing. We need to get you to safety.” Coran stated as followed in after her. 

“I will not sit idly by while my people suffer.”

“Oh you are just like your father. You need to think this through.”

“I have thought this through. I have laid awake for months wishing I could have done something differently. That i didn’t allow my father to stick me in a cryopod. To fight along side my people against Zarkon. That my father never would have listened to Zarkon starting all of this” She motioned to everything around and nothing in particular. “I will not sit around waiting for someone else to fight my battles. 

“Then I am joining you. What kind of Altean would I be if i let the princess go to fight on her own.” He rummaged through some of the lighter armor as to not hinder his reflexes and speed. “I believe time is of the essence” 

They both rushed back to the front gates were Alfor and Zarkon were already in the heat of battle. 

“You destroyed my planet. You left my people homeless and abandoned and I will do the same to you.” 

Zarkon swung his sword down smashing down into Alfors sword. The Altean parried out of the attack sliding his weapon against Zarkons as sparks flew. He turned swinging it into the Galrans side not even leaving a dent in his armor. The two men danced around each other weapons clashing against each other one attack right after the next. There wasn’t a moments pause between them. Both were experts in the art of combat. Made even worse by the two being comrades and knowing the others weaknesses and strengths. 

“Zarkon please you don’t know what you are doing. We are friends I would never do anything to harm your people. We even had a migration plan for them here on Altea.” Alfor pleaded trying to reach his friend. 

“Lies! All you ever spew is lies. I will not fall for them any longer.” Zarkon whipped his sword as it separated into sections. 

Alfor maneuvered around the weapon as he rolled to the right. He pushed off the balls of his feet as he lunged towards Zarkon. Thrusting his weapon at Zarkon. His weapon was pulled back together as he managed to perry the attack. He swung his blade quickly against the Altean breaking open the armor against his shoulder. Alfor gritted his teeth as blood started to pool out soaking his under armor. 

His arm was immobilized as Zarkons blade had managed to cut through muscles and the tendons. Alfor sliced through the air making contact with an unprotected portion of Zarkons leg. Not even fazed by the attack continued to thrash his sword against Alfors armor. The injury only slightly hindering him. The Galren made a wide swing of his sword connecting with Alfors side mid lunge. It sliced through the armor like butter as it sliced through flesh and crunched to a stop as it bone broke apart against it. Zarkon yanked his sword from the Alteans side as chunks of skin and bone followed after. Alfor let out a gut wrenching scream. His hand instinctively went to the wound in a sad attempt to stop the blood from seeping out. Alfor knew if he didn’t act now then the fight was truly over. He choked back a blood filled cough as he lunged at Zarkon swinging his sword forward his blade stopped millimeters from Zarkons chest plate. 

A black obsidian like blade impaled the fallen Altean. Crimson dyed the floor around him. The Altean blade fell with an ominous clatter against the metal ground. Zarkon lifted his blade lifting the dead Altean into the air as he whipped his blade to the side. The body slide off the blade gliding through the air as he hit the ground with a loud crunch as the metal and bone rattled together. 

Zarkon raised his blade towards the sky in victory. A murderous cry came from behind him as a blur of orange and blue made its way over to him. He gave out a sadistic blood lust laugh as he brought his blade down upon the Younger Altean man. “Your king was no match for me, what can a serving boy do.” 

His blade sliced through the man's neck in a clean smooth motion. It took only a second later for the head to slide off falling to the ground. The body suspended for only a moment later before it followed after is decapitated head. Allura stood unable to more as she watched everything unfold before her. Tears were falling to the ground as she clenched her teeth swallowing back the bile forcing its way up.

Zarkon stalked towards the young Altean girl. “Shall I make you my prisoner or do you wish to reunite with them in death.” he mocked. 

“I will never become your prisoner. I may not of been able to prevent the fall of Altea but Voltron will rise again. You will be defeated. Peace will spread throughout the universe once more. I believe in my paladins.”

“The Paladins of Voltron are no more. The next people to pilot those Lions will be of Galren decent young princess.” Zarkon stated. 

“We shall see about that. I will fight you till one of us is dead. Just know your evil reign can not last forever.” She closed her eyes in acceptance as her consciousness faded away into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the late update. This chapter kinda got away from me as I had an idea of where I wanted it to go but didn't know how i wanted it to start and once I got it started it just took off and turned into this longer chapter. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter I had fun writing it. Let me know what you thought of it in the comments. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has commented It brightens my day to see how you have taken to this fan-fiction I love you all. 
> 
> Next chapter should be up by Sunday.


	13. I am not my fathers Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corran had awoken to darkness around him. He ran his fingers through his orange slicked back hair. A splitting pain pounded against his skull. He swore under his breath as he tried to see anything around him. He noticed a sliver of light and a faint higher pitched scream echoed from the distance. A deeper rougher voice cut off the higher. Corans eyes widened as he headed towards the disturbance. Something familiar about the sounds had his heart racing in a panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: There is domestic abuse in this chapter.

Corran had awoken to darkness around him. He ran his fingers through his orange slicked back hair. A splitting pain pounded against his skull. He swore under his breath as he tried to see anything around him. He noticed a sliver of light and a faint higher pitched scream echoed from the distance. A deeper rougher voice cut off the higher. Corans eyes widened as he headed towards the disturbance. Something familiar about the sounds had his heart racing in a panic.

The source of the light was a slightly cracked open door. Coran tried to push through the door but was met with resistance. As he peered through the crack there was a younger woman sitting on the floor curled into herself as a red haired man towered over her.

“How can you be so incompetent. Does this dish even look clean to you!” He screamed throwing the plate down inches away from the orange haired woman's head. 

“I’m sorry dear, I’ll clean them better I promise.” She begged avoiding eye contact in an attempt to not anger him further.

“You always say you’ll do better. Does this look like any kind of improvement.” He grabbed the hair on the back of her neck and yanked her head up to look at him. He held up the knife to her face as light gleamed off of it. “Does this look clean to you?”

All the Altean woman could muster out was a whimper. Tears were streaming down her face and she choked out a cry. “I’m sorry. I can do better. I don’t know what was wrong with me.” He didn’t find this at all acceptable as he threw the knife embedding it into the wall and slammed her face into the ground. She cried out another sorry as he stalked over to the cupboards. He Picked through plates, bowls, and cups one by one throwing them at her in disgust. She curled even further into herself as her arms covered her face in a small attempt to protect herself from the flying objects.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll do better. Just please stop.” She whimpered out. He continued the onslaught of objects as he made his way into drawers grabbing anything he could get his hands onto. Forks, Spoons, Knives they all started to fly through the air. Coran rammed himself into the door in an attempt to force it open. It was locked in place like a steal wall. He was rendered useless as he was forced to watch the terror unfold before him. 

“None of this is acceptable. How many times must I go through this with you. Will you never learn woman? Are you somehow unteachable?” He growled.

“No, I can learn. I am a worthless woman but I will learn to be of use to you. Please I beg you teach me. Give me one more chance, please” 

He stalked towards her like a hungry animal. “You will not disappoint me again. Do we have an understanding?” 

She slightly nodded her head in agreement. “Yes dear, I understand. Thank you for sparing me.”

With a sharp turn he headed towards the door. As he pulled it open he bumped right into Coran. “Go to your room, son.” He ordered pushing past Coran as he made his way down the non existent hallway.Coran watched after him as he slowly faded into the darkness. As he turned back to the now open door the scene in front of him had faded into fog distorting his view of the destroyed kitchen.

His shoulders slumped as another scene started to unfold before him. His father loomed over a younger version of himself. He looked to be around the Altean equivalent of a six year old human child. Watching him fill out a specialized test of his fathers own creation. The older Altean paced back and forth occasionally looking over Corans shoulder at the progress he had made. The young Alteans pencil shook in his hand as he continued to write under the pressure of his father's gaze.

“Coran we have discussed this before. How many mistakes are you going to make before you get it right?” He questioned. 

“I am sorry father I will try better next time.” His shoulders fell as he started to erase some of his answers trying to think of what the correct ones would be. How was he supposed to know the correct way to get scoltrite out of a weblum? 

“Coran, no son of mine will be a failure when it comes to their studies. You are a Smythe and you will act like one. You will pass with with a hundred percent or lose the privilege of supper. Do not disappoint me”

“Father we have been at this for hours. I’ve already missed lunch due to my studies. May I please be allowed to attend supper?” Coran pleaded. 

“With that attitude of yours you are no better then the peasants that live on the streets. You’ve already failed this family. It seems like you won't amount to anything more than a useless piece of garbage like your mother after all.”

“Mother is not garbage. She is the most loving person I have ever met and her only mistake was marrying you!” He shot back anger boiling in his veins. 

His father's arm shot out as an open palmed hand struck against his cheek. “You will show me respect. I am your father and you will treat me as such. Go to your room and do not come out unless instructed to. Maybe this will teach you some manners you ingrate.” 

Tears formed from the sudden sting to his face. His hand cradled his cheek as he pushed out from the desk he was seated at and ran out the door.

The next scene was his mother engulfing him in a tight hug as she kissed the top of his head. “Darling mommy loves you, you know that right?” She smoothed back his orange hair matching her own. 

“Of course. I love you to.” He hugged her back just as tightly. 

“Then please forgive me on this.” She smiled as tears streamed down her face. She looked up to the older figure that had made his way down to them.

She stood up as she embraced the older gentleman. “Father it is so good to see you.”

“And to you as well my daughter.” He held her back at arms length taking a long hard look at her. “I am more than happy to take Coran in while you figure things out. Just know that he is in good hands.” He brought her back into a hug as she choked back a cry.” 

She gave him one last squeeze as she turned towards Coran. “Darling you are going to be staying with grandfather for a little while. Now please behave for him okay? Mommy is so very proud of you.” She hugged him tightly one last time as she patted his head before handing him off to his grandfather. 

If it hadn’t been for his grandfather he didn’t know were he would have ended up. This was the man that taught him everything he knew. Who taught him the importance of kindness instead of anger. How to be a strong willed person without the use of force. This was the man that had taught him how to be everything his father was not. 

Everything turned to darkness as he saw an image of his father. His face contorted in anger as he jabbed a finger into his chest. “You will never be like him. You are my son and you are destined to be just like me. You can't hide from this.”

“I am nothing like you.” Coran Spat back. “I will never be anything like you. I treated my wife with the utmost respect. I fought to protect my family alongside the royal family.” 

“You failed your family and Altea. You are you are my son after all.” he chuckled. “You were to fixated on new discoveries and helping out your precious King Alfor. That even your son rejected you when he betrayed Altea.”

“He was miss lead and blinded from the truth.” Coran shook his head at the memory. “I fought my hardest to try and save him and my family. I’ve made my own mistakes, but I was never the man you were.”

“Is that why he slaughtered the rest of your family. His own mother and siblings. Only to meet the end of your sword. How does it feel to be the reason your whole family died. How does it feel to have abandoned them. To have them perish when the princess was saved. To follow the orders of your dear King Alfor?” He teased.

“My family was already gone by the time I made it home. I can’t change the fact that my son betrayed Altea. However I can try and fix my mistakes. I have never abused my family like you did to us. I am flawed, but I am nothing like you. I am not a failure nor am I a monster.” He spat back. 

His father gave him sickening smile as Corans vision slowly started to fade into the darkness. “We shall see about that.” He chortled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So one more chapter left before the whole gang gets back together. I will try and get the next chapter up by Wednesday but it may be a day late since this week is busier then my normal weeks. However Thursday should be the latest it would be out and I am still shooting for Wednesday as my upload day.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you everyone who made it through to the end of this chapter. I don't know how often i will be able to update this story but i do have an out line and I am working on the next installment.


End file.
